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Doing a 'Nige'


honitonhobbit

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Long story. Simplified.

Bare in mind I am a City and Guilds Assessor for Wood Chippers

I part own a large wood chipper - a 10" TP

I was using it on Saturday - to chip some pruning's from my garden

It got a blockage in the outlet shute

I switched it off and climbed up on the top of the input shute, undid the bolts for the output shute. Lifted it off it's mount (it weighs about 30kgs), then slipped.

I fell 5 foot, onto my back, hitting my head on the fence on the way down (twice).

I managed to cushion the fall of the output shoot with my chest and right thigh

Needless to say I was somewhat winded, but I crawled from under the shoot - thinking 'great, I can move my legs' I staggered into the kitchen. Took a massive bollocking from my wife for the blood trail on the floor, from the gash in leg. Had the 'not another trip to A&E' telling off - you know the one. Then had the massive "why do you do these things on your own" telling off. Then she went off to work, leaving me with the kids

A&E told me I was an idiot. Picked the splinters out of the bump on the back of my head. Stitched up the gash. X-rayed my chest - cracked ribs and sternum; X-rayed my back, neck and pelvis, fine.

I've got a stinking cold, so coughing and sneezing - hurts like a hurty thing

And this afternoon I'm having two wisdom teeth out and a molar

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I did something similar a couple of years ago. Was unloading a trailer and a friend was waiting for me. I ran inside the workshop to fetch some gloves (to avoid injuring myself) jumped up onto the metal bench to reach them on a high shelf. One foot slipped, and a i had a life flashing before me moment, where i remember wondering how a cat manages to get its feet under itself on the way down, then some moments of 'oh f..k this is going to hurt.
My head whacked a plasterboard wall and left a nice hole, but surprisingly little damage to my head. But below me was a pile of junk with a bracket in double 1mm steel sticking out. The result was a draw between my ribs and the bracket. Ribs 2 cracked vs bracket bent in half.
Bracket (was perfectly straight before)
20141124_002833_zpsbkuuruva.jpg

20141124_002920_zpstqn58euz.jpg

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Came home from the dentist...  You know how it is. Feeling much like a good looking young man in a prison in Turkey. Can't speak properly. Bloody drool in my beard.

She yes "I'm off to work in 30 minutes,please don't disturb me, I'm watching The Following on my kindle" The Following is about serial killers, a personal favourite of hers. I'm starting to think maybe I could pick up some tips.

So she's at work. The kids are at home - being great and very sympathetic. I go to the fridge. No cheese. So I can't make a nice cheesy scrambled eggs to suck down my through.  Luckily mobiles are not allowed at her work place....

The youngest wants to look at the 'holes in my mouth' so she can see 'all the blood'. They both want to know the full and gorey details and hear about the old greasy set of pinch nose mole grips and the cold chisel...

I'm going to bed early tonight. Does single malt scotch count as alchohol or pain meds?

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