discomikey Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 have a police siren sound on a loudspeaker hidden somewhere outside make it so it sets off around 2 mins after they break in. they should s*** themselves and run then inform the police so they can do something about it so if they come agin the real police will come also park a big digger/ tractor in front of the door so as they cant get anything big out. small things may go but the usual suspect irish transit vans wont tow a JCB out the way mikey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ste clark Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 Really nosy retired neighbours works for me!Harry (across the road) has seen off people three times in the last few years, including one who said that I had sent him to pick up some tools and had forgotten to give him the key! Harry said 'hang on while I call him and check' and the bloke made an excuse and left... Thanks Harry! no way.. do you live in my street?? harry hill across the road is 88 you know!! he keeps an eye on things for me too!!! and if he misses it the irish blue staffie i feed red meat and people who annoy me deals with them!!!!!! savage dogs work pretty well!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonr Posted December 29, 2008 Share Posted December 29, 2008 wont tow a JCB out the way More likely just drive it away. Then you loose the JCB too. Si Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Igol Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 Smartwater has a pretty good deterent effect, oh and signs saying you've got smartwater too. Who's to know if its just the marking system or the fancy spray? And unlike CS its legal, what a country even the cops cant carry that anymore because it may be carcinogenic so they have PAVA which main effect is to not taste very nice. Or knock up a home made claymore, everything you need is in Tesco Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBMUD Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 What is an irritant that can be cheaply produced and dispensed in aerosol type form??? Chilli juice in a plant sprayer. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discomikey Posted December 30, 2008 Share Posted December 30, 2008 More likely just drive it away. Then you loose the JCB too.Si if you take the keys and lock it?? it wouldn't work if it had a Lucas key but JCBs never did so it would be fine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddy Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 it wouldn't work if it had a Lucas key but JCBs never did so it would be fine I have a jcb with a lucas key Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantd5 Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 Put up a big sign reading " In this workshop are 20 needles infected with HIV virus- wrong move and the end is near" I guess that could keep them wetting their underwear!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted December 31, 2008 Share Posted December 31, 2008 ... but does rely on them being able to read... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantd5 Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 ... but does rely on them being able to read... forgot that one.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olioffroadking Posted January 2, 2009 Share Posted January 2, 2009 both of our jcb`s wot weve had both had lucas keys Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discomikey Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 yeh well oli your strange weve never come across one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olioffroadking Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 yeh well oli your strange weve never come across one. ye well thats coz youve only seen newer ones Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WESTENDER Posted January 3, 2009 Share Posted January 3, 2009 Discomikey only pressure off the insurance companies forced JCB and other plant manufacturers to increase the very lax security afforded by the ubiquitous plant key, up until then [ i think, the eighties] it was possible to start almost every bit of plant with one key besides that i dont think the lack of a key would stop the gentlemen of whom you speak!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discomikey Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 Discomikeyonly pressure off the insurance companies forced JCB and other plant manufacturers to increase the very lax security afforded by the ubiquitous plant key, up until then [ i think, the eighties] it was possible to start almost every bit of plant with one key besides that i dont think the lack of a key would stop the gentlemen of whom you speak!! okay well im not THAT clever am i maybe a dead land rover, or just dont have a big enough door to get everything out, or just sleep there curled around a shotgun mikey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakeybaby Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 A friend of mine has got a genius set up and he`s never been broken into, you can buy for about £20 a 500w external lamp with a pir attached but it also comes with a plug in internal chime, so when the light comes on the chime goes off. Being the clever dick that he is who also happens to like his music, he has an ols cheap hifi system in his lock up, but it sounds great. he then recorded the nastiest sounding wolfhound I have ever heard it sounds like a warewolf on steroids. Well he wired his chime to the stereo system so now when the light is activated by an intruder it sets of this hifi system with the tape of the warewolf, upon hearing that thing all potential intruders have fled, and he has a camera up so i`ve seen the evidence of them legging it. All in all he spent less than £100 for 4 lights. Tim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dantd5 Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 .....sounds like a warewolf on steroids. Well he wired his chime to the stereo system so now when the light is activated by an intruder it sets of this hifi system with the tape of the warewolf, upon hearing that thing all potential intruders have fled, and he has a camera up so i`ve seen the evidence of them legging it....Tim Nice one there, Tim.... Dan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simonr Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 A nice addition to that would be mount an eccentric cam and a bit of chain to a motor so you can feel the vibration through the ground / structure of the warewolf moving around. It would lend itself quite well to van security too! Si Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddy Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I would be fun to have a large wolf thing though Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Handy_Andy Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Dammit.Anyone out there a chemist? What is an irritant that can be cheaply produced and dispensed in aerosol type form??? Al Not a chemist but if you Mix Bleach and Ammonia, don't you get chlorine gas... "no oficer it was just lying around, i can hardly be blamed for people breaking in and acedently knocking over the bottle of ammonia into the misplaced bucket of bleach" :unsure: :unsure: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sheeppimp Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I would be fun to have a large wolf thing though apart from the clearing up after it eats digests the scrote that is Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirkthe1 Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 those blank shotgun things are great. my boss has one mounted at head hieght on his workshop door. i wore my helmet, ear defs, safety specs and a shemagh, and it still hurt! we also tested a ring of crow scaring rockets (we do pest control) with fuse wire running to the path of the blank-its only a 10' by 6' room. wow. that was fun. the video was on youtube, but i think its gone now:( thatd keep the scum out! if you cant get the rockets, the magnum crow scarers would work similarly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alistair P Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Be careful about the golf club suggestion above. Google the only real defence of 'immediate arming' if you are of that line iof thinking. I can't really see the problem with the golf club concept. After all, if a pair of police marksmen can blow away a Scottish DIY enthusiast walking home from the pub with a table leg (which he had just turned up on a lathe) under his arm, and subsequently have the nerve to claim that they thought he was an Irish terrorist with a shotgun under his arm, then in theory you should be able to get away with just about anything by claiming self defence. In reality no jury is ever going to convict a householder for clobbering an intruder in the night with a golf club; short of doing a "Tony Martin" (in the back with an unlicensed weapon whilst the Pikey was running away) you can (despite what the Daily Mail would have you believe) actually under UK law take extremely robust action in self defence. Just make sure that there are no witnesses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted January 10, 2009 Share Posted January 10, 2009 Easy....................... just put a picture of my wife in the garage!!!!!!!! don't even have to lock the door. pictures for sale £1 each. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbs Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Dead men don't tell lies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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