hattymender Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 Wife came home early today and caught me out. To get me out of a sticky situation I came up with one I'm proud of; "Actually dishwashers were designed for engine parts originally so it won't do any harm" Other past crimes include; "I can't understand it, they don't normally leak oil" "No need to worry, V8s can be quite economical" "I've no idea where all the kitchen cleaner went" (standing in front of a suspiciously clean engine). "I'll decorate when the body's back on the chassis, it'll only take a few hours" Will I be forgiven? Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orgasmic Farmer Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 Go straight to hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect £200 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSi110 Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 Mine usually revolve around saying that the latest part I've bought only cost £50 or so... It doesn't always work, and the guilt is terrible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithjh Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 "Actually dishwashers were designed for engine parts originally so it won't do any harm" Will I be forgiven? NO especially if i see you and wife at car boot in morning Engine parts yes not the whole bl--dy V8 and gearbox i sold you Regards Keith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diesel_jim Posted April 26, 2008 Share Posted April 26, 2008 I had a good one a few years back... i bought a sankey trailer, 3/4 ton jobbie. had it in my garage. SWMBO saw it... "when did you get THAT!? "ages ago, i've had it for a couple of years, it was in my mates lock-up..... " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hattymender Posted April 26, 2008 Author Share Posted April 26, 2008 "Actually dishwashers were designed for engine parts originally so it won't do any harm"Will I be forgiven? NO especially if i see you and wife at car boot in morning Engine parts yes not the whole bl--dy V8 and gearbox i sold you Regards Keith You sold me a giant gob of oil. I discovered a V8 inside it! I'm also claiming to know nothing about the whereabouts of her 'decoupage brushes', whatever that is. Very handy for nooks and crannies. Rich Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hattymender Posted April 27, 2008 Author Share Posted April 27, 2008 Mine usually revolve around saying that the latest part I've bought only cost £50 or so...It doesn't always work, and the guilt is terrible. Guilt overcame me. I confessed, and threw in several other crimes for consideration. New dishwasher on order. But, on the bright side, I get the old one as a parts cleaner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blippie Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 It is our duty to tell white lies, to balance out the fibs told by our better looking halfs. "A second horse won't be much more work than one" "It's quite cheap to bring up a foul" "Vet's fees are quite reasonable, it's only on weekends and bank holidays that they charge a lot" "Animal feed prices are coming down every week" "No, that's not a new saddle, that's the same one I had ten years ago, I've just cleaned it up" "I get a discount at the tack shop" We know they are lying. They know we know. And we known they know we know. In order to restore the balance of nature, we have to lie. It's like carbon emissions - it is our duty to participate in honesty offsetting. Cheers Blippie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ryan Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 It is our duty to tell white lies, to balance out the fibs told by our better looking halfs."A second horse won't be much more work than one" "It's quite cheap to bring up a foul" "Vet's fees are quite reasonable, it's only on weekends and bank holidays that they charge a lot" "Animal feed prices are coming down every week" "No, that's not a new saddle, that's the same one I had ten years ago, I've just cleaned it up" "I get a discount at the tack shop" We know they are lying. They know we know. And we known they know we know. In order to restore the balance of nature, we have to lie. It's like carbon emissions - it is our duty to participate in honesty offsetting. Cheers Blippie You know, that's almost word for word what my mum used to tell my dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollythelw Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 "no seriously dear - this project will take no time at all, you'll barely notice Im out of the house" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotian Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 One that I use very often is "I've got to buy the part or the landrover will be off the road" when reffering to somthing that is an upgrade like a steering guard or upgraded somthing that isnt needing replacing yet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie69 Posted May 7, 2008 Share Posted May 7, 2008 "It'll only take 2 days to do the engine conversion, tops" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen Posted May 8, 2008 Share Posted May 8, 2008 'The portal ends *need* to be in the kitchen so they don't get dirty - it won't be long' 'you won't even notice the series doors under the bed...' 'I've no idea where the < insert item from Dan's toolbox here > is, I haven't used it today' ...I think Blippie's right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blippie Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 "No, I haven't been using your best screwdriver as a chisel..." Cheers Blippie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 'I just borrowed it off a friend, to see if it's any good' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSG Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 Mine usually revolve around saying that the latest part I've bought only cost £50 or so...It doesn't always work, and the guilt is terrible. Or forgetting to mention the new wheels in the hope she won't notice That was a good one Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSG Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 My best one? To the ex wife some years back...... No, the Range Rover Classic that has just appeared on the drive isn't mine - I'm looking after it for a mate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blippie Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 "Honest, they threw all the other bits in for free..." Cheers Blippie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
treebloke Posted May 9, 2008 Share Posted May 9, 2008 All my lies are true!. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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