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Fao Hybrid-from-hell

Les Henson

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I am NOT alone :

Found from a link from LRO PMSL :lol:

Peter Parry wrote (on the Subject of the Expanding Foam)

A friend of mine once built a canoe. He spent a long time

on it and it was a work of art.Almost the final phase was to fill both ends with polyurethane

expanding foam.He duly ordered the bits from Mr Glasplies (an excellent

purveyor of all things fibreglass) and it arrived in two

packs covered with appropriately dire warnings about expansion

ratios and some very good notes on how to use it.Unfortunately he had a degree, worse still two of them. One

was in Chemistry, so the instructions got thrown away and the

other in something mathematical because in a few minutes he

was merrily calculating the volume of his craft to many

decimal places and the guidelines got binned as well.He propped the canoe up on one end, got a huge tin,

carefully measured the calculated amounts of glop, mixed

them and quickly poured the mixture in the end of the canoe

(The two pack expands very rapidly). I arrived as he was completing this and I looked in to

see the end chamber over half full of something Cawdors

Witches would have been proud of. Two thing occurred to me,

one was the label which said in big letters:

"Caution - expansion ration 50:1" (or something similar)

and the other that the now empty tins said "approximately

enough for 20 small craft"Any comment was drowned out by a sea of yellow brown foam

suddenly pouring out of the middle of the canoe and the

end of the canoe bursting open. My friend screamed and

leapt at his pride and joy which was knocked to the ground

as he started trying to bale handfuls of this stuff out

with his hands.Knocking the craft over allowed the still liquid and not

yet fully expanded foam to flow to the other end of the

canoe where it expanded and shattered that end as well.A few seconds later and we had a canoe with two exploded

ends, a mountain of solid foam about 4ft high growing out

of the middle, and a chemist firmly embedded up to his

armpits in it.At this stage he discovered the reaction was exothermic

and his hands and arms were getting very hot indeed.

Running about in small circles in a confined space while

glued to the remains of a fairly large canoe proved

ineffective so he resorted to screaming a bit instead.Fortunately a Kukri was to hand so I attacked the foam

around his hands with some enthusiasm. The process was

hindered by the noise he was making and the fact he was

trying to escape while still attached to the canoe.Eventually I managed to hack out a lump of foam still

including most of his arms and hands. Unfortunately my

tears of laughter were not helping as they accelerated

the foam setting.Seeking medical help was obviously out of the question,

the embarrassment of having to explain his occupation

(Chief Research Chemist at a major petrochemical

organisation) would simply never have been lived down.

Several hours and much acrimony later we had removed

sufficient foam (and much hair) to allow him to move

again. However he still looked something like a failed

audition for Quasimodo with red burns on his arms and

expanded blobs of foam sticking everywhere. My comment

that the scalding simple made the hairs the foam was

sticking to come out easier was not met with the

enthusiasm I felt it deserved.I forgot to add that in retrospect rather unwisely he had

set out to do this deed in the hallway of his house (the

only place he later explained with sufficient headroom

for the canoe - achieved by poking it up the stairwell.Having extricated him we now were faced with the problem

of a canoe construction kit embedded in a still gurgling

block of foam which was now irrevocably bonded to the hall

and stairs carpet as well as several banister rails and

quite a lot of wallpaper.At this point his wife and her mother came back from

shopping......Oh yes - and he had been wearing the pullover Mum in law

had knitted him for his birthday the week before.


Peter Parry.

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I just tried a google as pges are cached there long after the orginal website has closed or deleted the pages.

Only partial success I'm afraid. It came up with:


Name Nigel B

Title Cat Waxoiler Extraordinaire

Total Posts 1466


Occupation Trainee Idiot - ie waxoiling my poor cat-see thread

Hobbies Hitting things with Hammers and Muttering

Location Surrey W Sussex Border

Bio http://www.lrenthusiastforum.com/ubbthread...ew=&sb=&o=&vc=1

ICQ Number

Registered on 01/06/03 07:49 PM

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Ahhh Opps :ph34r: still amazed, its August and still no real bodily injuries / accidents / trips to A&E.

Jon W commented on it last week, Sue (SWMBO) commented on it this weekend...

Either I'm becoming saner as I get older, I'm getting luckier, or ....no, I don't wnat to think about that thought :(

Oh, and Mr Fridge made a commet too :(:(:(

Nervous ? ..........me ? .............Yep :unsure:

Nige :ph34r:

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Anyone guess who this is?

"Just so you will be able to recognize me, I look something like a cross between Tom Cruise and Freddy Mercury (only with much better teeth). Still have a full head of hair with its natural colour and the body of an 18 year old."

Cheers Chris

He's not lurking around on here is he?

God help the Kitties, his latest experimental research is:-

I have been experimenting with new juice recipes.

How about:



ginger (root)









Cheers Chris

Presumably all with added Waxoil essence!!


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