Hybrid_From_Hell Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Oh deep joy and I was doing so well last year, so far on "2011" I have onlt manged to make 21 days before a trip to A&E. It started Tuesday when I used the lathe at work (yes all the saftey gear on), and having finished turning a 2" tapered hole into a 30mm Thick solid round lump of 8" from Mr Rogue Vogues collection I finished and removed it from the Chuck As I lifted it - it was heavy - I gripped it, and felt a pin pricking pain in the back of my thumb, on the bendy joint bit having cleaned it all up and done some peering couldn't see anthing... Wends morning I woke with my thumb pounding, and a tad swollen, had another peer, still looked fine, so of to work, as the day went on my thumb swelled bigger and a big "point" sort of started to show, so, in desperation (as it was a pounding) I removed a Map pin off the board, heated it with a lighter and dug in. A satisfying strweam of puss exited, and it seemed fine, I thought with it now "open" whatever was in there woul work its way out. Thursday night woke up about 3 o'clock, thumb was agony, so went to bathroom to get some items to help 1x new razor blade, 1x needle, 1x bottle of iodine, twenty mins of poking using blade and gritting teeeth saw a much bigger hole but SWMBO was none too impressed waking up to the hfh mini operating area, complete with selected "leaks" that had missed the bit of loo roll and found refuge on the sheets, pillow, her nightdress. Never the less it bleed good and proper and felt better, the cotton bud with neat iodine "stang" a tad, but went back to beeboos Friday (today) woke up to find thumb "stuck" to sheet, peeling it off did little to reduce the pain, and it was blown right up with all the sort of skin creases tight, poking it just ended up with me having a squeal or 3, so decided some serious poking around was required Ran a bath and got in it (this image now may haunt some members for a time to come ) and contuined to raise the bath water temp untill it became "Monkey Bath Hot" (so hot that if you move you go Ooooo Ooooo Ooooo Ooooo ). then soaked paw in hot bath to soft skin - well seemed a good idea... 10 mins later I called SWMBO in for some "help" What she then and later said is untypeable on a kiddie friendly forum, but I had made exellent progress with the razor blade I had cut into the back of the thumb taking off quite neatlt I thought the top 2-3mm of angry skin, opening it up, a ferretted about withe the neeedle and thought I could see something, but just couldn't get it out, the blood was dripping quite well into the now red bath. She had a rummage with her eyebrow tweezers, but after a few mins of this, plus me squeeking advised me "this is ****ing madness" and huffed out. It was at this point I had an idea. Problem was the blood covering everthing up, and the wound closing, I noticed the needle had cotton on, so with a big breathe I shoved the needle into the flap bit of the wound pushed the needle through ,and then the cotton, so the wound could be "pulled" open whilst I dug the tweezers in further, my cunning plan was to have sue pull on the string, whilst I held my thumb under water to wash the blood away, and rummage with tweezers It didn't go quite to plan, there was so much blood now in the bath it looked like something from "the shinning" plus I couldn't see the wound through all the blood in the bath, so I turned the tap on, shoved thumb under and said "give it a little tug love " It sort of worked, but the bath had now made the skin softer, so the cord sort of cut through the lump of flesh like a cheese wire, I squeaked again, much more blood and sue was not her normal colour. She advised me she was going to be sick if I carried on plus I was being "bl**dy stupid" and should see the Dr. I decided to stop, and just have a nice soak, but the bleeding contuinued, so I got out, and poured a few drops of iodine on the wound, another squeal from me and I made a coffee, blood driiping on worksurface an floor, and went to bed to let thing calm down, sue went to work and my thumb seemed to be getting bigger ? Phoned Dr's and was put through (he knows me and is a great Dr). "nige" he said "one word" "A&E NOW" I pointed out that was 2 words, and he said, "haha A&E NOW" So, arrived at A&E and went to reception" "how can we help you" ? "sorry to be a wuss, but I have a splinter in my thumb and I can't get it out - and it hurts like hell" She gave me "that look" that women can do and the triarge nurse came over "show me ?" she said, and I stuck my thumb up in that 'alright type thumbs up stylee. "Christ ...come with me", so in I went and a very lovely lady Dr peered at it. I explained what I had done so far, and she sort of just looked at me, I smiled, she shook her head and laughed" "X Ray" she said 15 mins larer we all pered at the X Ray, and there was the splinter, about 3/4 in long, but stuck in the bone joint. At this point she advised me that I wiould have to have a course of antibiotics, then when the swelling was down a small op and that at the moment it was so swelled up and infected that a anesthetic wouldn't work, so I was about to be sent home with antibiotics. "Couldn't you have a go now" I asked ? "it would be very painfull" she said I then explained the "bath diy surgery" and she agreed to have a go. "right then, stick up thumb up, and brace yourself" she advised "oh and you are certain to squeal, but NO Swearing OK ?" "yup" "go for it" She had a nurse grip my hand, and went it with a scalpel and needle "Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer ooooooooooooooooooooooh Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezu kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Oooo nooo nooo nooo NooooooooooooooooooooooooooooEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeE my squealling piggy was superb, just missing the Oink at the end, I ended up on the floor on my knees gripping the nurses other hand where my grip tightened in time with the pain increasing, then while I was doing the "Eeeeee Oooooooo Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Eeeeeeargh" bit the nurse did a bit of swquealling too - to me grip being tad tight on her as the pain increased. At this point there was a surreal moment where Dr twiged and we all started laughing she had to wait until we had all settled down for as she put it "round 2 sir ?" "yep go on then", this was almost the same as above, but without my good hand held by nursey. Squealing piggy impressions, breathing out like a boxer and whimpering ensued, but, with one final tug, the shard was out, and the leaking commenced in fact it was instant relief even though it hurt, Dr said for me to have one final X Ray to check all was out while she cleaned her key board and floor X Ray done and showed in all out, I have to take 1x week of 3x day 650mg antibiotics and go back in Monday to have it checked, luckily I can drink on these tablets, so the weekend is looking quiet but good Ho hum, and its only january Lastly I noticed the twezzers she used, these had like a diamiond end to them so you could get right into the wound to get to the metal I asked her |"umm any chance I could maybe have or by those off you ?", she replied "as much chance as you being more careful in the future ?" laughed and said simply "non" Ebay time then, could be a usefull addition to the medicine cabinet Nige Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landroversforever Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 oh dear nige ... sorry but Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
123tom123 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 that sounds like it hurt and no piccies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
western Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 good to read the inttusion has been evicted, sounds extremely painfull. what have you got lined up for the other 11 months of 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forkrentfitter Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 having removed a dead calf from inside mummy cow today and stinking to high heaven,this sooo made me laugh,and yes i do simpathise with you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve b Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 ..it must be your magnetic personality that keeps attracting all these nefarious pieces of steel to you Nige Where did the "shard" come from ? .......think of it this way , at least it wasn't the chuck key left in the chuck and subsequently squarely between the eyes , or indeed the work piece flying out of the chuck and bouncing off the rafters to finally come to rest on your good foot. Your wife must have the patience of a saint I reckon cheers Steveb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Humphreys Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Best thing I have read for weeks!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Landy'd Gentry Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 My wife thinks I've lost the plot! All she can see is me rolling around the floor in hysterics! Thank you for cheering a miserable old g@t laugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landroversforever Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 another story to add to the LR4x4 book! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LandyManLuke Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Ooooh dear! I almost thought about a comment along the lines of this thread needs pictures, but seeing as you described it so well, I think everyone's got a pretty good idea already!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
western Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I'm glad Nige doesn't work for HSE, imagine what the accident book would read like Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve b Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Read? you wouldn't be able to read it for bloody finger prints Nige may you continue to not only survive your little moments , but also see it with the great sense of humour that you always have cheers Steveb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
landroversforever Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 he should work for the HSE, it might make people take it with a bit more common sense Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madmatt Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 I am probably the most sqeamish person there is but just had to keep reading that! my folks think i have gone mad as i was sat crying with laughter into the laptop! hope your injury is better soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew Cleland Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Jeez Nige - woudn't it have been easier to skip a whole load of pain (not to mention laundry) and just have gone to A&E about the point that you were sterilising map pins? ;-) (Sez he who probably cracked his coc^d^d tailbone two weeks ago and is still giving it a few more days to stop hurting...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fozsug Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Love the graphic decriptions, i can just see the nurses face a you squeeeezeeeeeeeee!!!! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokinv8 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Nige get well soon and back to work, so we can enjoy another instalment of a day in your life! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike4444244 Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Facepalm! Still we are very grateful for you keeping us all in a job! on a serious note though if infection gets into the bone or joint it can be a PITA to treat so next time go and get the antibiotics! Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bishbosh Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Jeff R - you have been trumped for 2011......... so far....... Nice one Nige, nothing like a bit of stubbornness to make the rest of us laugh!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missingsid Posted January 21, 2011 Share Posted January 21, 2011 Nige, Priceless. Just how have you managed to stay alive so long? Glad you have finally got some pain relief but in all honesty you really should give up earlier and accept the few hours in A&E instead of enforced time off with something nasty. Still after the week I have had with my customer blaming me for protecting their business from themselves it made me laugh and cry a lot! Marc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elbekko Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 She gave me "that look" that women can do and the triarge nurse came over "show me ?" she said, and I stuck my thumb up in that 'alright type thumbs up stylee. That's where I lost it :rofl: :rofl: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJB Serenity Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 'kin hell Nige! Sounds like Dr Frankenstein's guide to do-it-yourself first aid! Glad you got it sorted, hope you heal up well! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Goon Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Brilliant Nige! I'm glad I put the mug of tea down before I read that. It had me wincing at the thought of some bits of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jim Franklin Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 When I was reading Nigel post I kept thinking.."what the hell was he thinking", common sense says go to the Quacks and let the experts deal with something like.. But then I have to look at my own hands and forearms from my contracting and Army days to see the many marks left by Stanley blades and any other sharp implements I could find to dig out splinters and insect bits......and then I am reminded by a dull pail in my left leg of a recent injury that occurred through being a little reckless with hindsight that could have cost me a foot..and it only took me 5 weeks to go get it X-rayed to find out that I had splintered a 50p piece off the bone and detached the muscle in one place....no wonder it hurt...they wanted to plaster me up, but I said no..have to go to work... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 22, 2011 Share Posted January 22, 2011 Nige, I am glad it is not just me who opts for the "self help" approach to little incidents, Mrs S is never keen on my DIY surgery but I don't like to trouble the foke at A&E with trivia, meaning when I do need to go and tell Mrs S she knows something is VERY Serious!! Having a small amount of Medic training I am quite happy sticking in a few stitches, removing the odd toe nail, or nail through the foot and she has now given up with me, however she insists that I am not allowed to operate on the kids!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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