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It's Official !


Les Henson
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Rand Lover

I now offically know everthing in the world there is to know about LandRovers. Go-on, ask me anything.

I am completely rebuilding my engine/gearbox/axels after work,I have allowed 3/4 of an hour for this task.

Then I will then be up the pub, where you can find me locked into a discussion on gear ratios/vin numbers/The philosophy of the Tdi and how to drive a 4X4 properly.

Tommorrow I plan to fit a Horizontally opposed,reverse Turbo nutter ******* 1907 Traction engine into my Ford Ka/Kawasaki/Series2a Hybrid, although this depends on finishing building the chassis from scratch within the first half of the morning.

I am available for speaches, parties and general consoltations,Charges are £500 per hour, satisfaction is my middle name.

Yours

Dr.Rand 'Satisfaction' Lover

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Exmoor Beast

(Member)

29/11/01 09:35 PM

Re: It's official Reply

OK smartypants

Why do spiders only live in the corner of the windscreen on the drivers side?

Ah, I've just worked it out myself..

Will

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M005

(Member)

29/11/01 09:41 PM

Re: It's official Reply

NUTS Completely & utterly NUTS

People have told me Land Rovers can have this affect on new owners

Now get onto Treadwear and get yourself a sticker that reads "Beware this Land Rover contains NUTS"

Beast - so are you going to tell us why??

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Exmoor Beast

(Member)

29/11/01 09:48 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Its obvious really, they need the steering wheel to use as a fixing point for their webs!

Don't you just love life with a Land-Rover... Something to learn every day...

Will

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rtbarton

(Member)

29/11/01 10:03 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Funny you should say that, I had a guy round here yesterday complaining about the cobweb that kept appearing just at that place.

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aardstrider

(Member)

29/11/01 10:07 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Got yourself a manual now have you

Official factory-installed LR spiders are standard RHD models & should only be replaced with ones intended for the British market.

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Jabber

(Member)

29/11/01 10:13 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Mr Lover, I am sure J C, no not that one Jeremy Clarkson would love to meet you so that he is able to get a new slant on things automobilia.

We are truly satisfied to have someone with your great knowledge on board.

They need a load of your knowlegde at Lode Lane.

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Rand Lover

(Member)

29/11/01 11:01 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Actually...

Land Rover Spiders (LRS) cannot spin their webs in any old place, there appears to be an inherant problem with the silk chemicals setting off a reaction when affixed to the aluminium panels of a LandRover. Hence the need to spot weld fixing points to the steering wheel which does not react and corrode in the same way.

Part No B156PP007 the Spider Web Welding Kit. (SWWK) is available from your local dealer.

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Jabber

(Member)

29/11/01 11:47 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Can you help. is it the LRS that causes the fine thread like appearances under the paint work near larger white blobs which I assume are nests for the embrionic LRSs.

Have you any suggestions as to how we can eliminate this problem. I have naturally tried the usual suggestion of conkers in the LR.

Your comments great encylopeadia of the LR.

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aardstrider

(Member)

30/11/01 12:03 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Jabber, I think you may have had a cheap foreign pattern LRS fitted. You will probably have to take the gearbox out to fix this problem.

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Simon_CSK

(Member)

30/11/01 12:44 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Aardstrider:

Jabber, I think you may have had a cheap foreign pattern LRS fitted. You will probably have to take the gearbox out to fix this problem.

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Aardstrider You only have to take the gearbox out if the LRS has been fitted up-side-down and as you know the pattern ones will not last as long unless they have been coated in a web protection agent (WPA) from the likes of Finnigans

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SG

(Member)

30/11/01 12:52 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Rand.

What tyres should I use on my new project Hybrid.

Its a 1972 Rangerover chassis cut down to 84" wheelbase. 2" offset front to rear due to dodgy welding.

Suzuki Jimny Body cut down centre and widened to fit chassis.

5 cylinder engine from an old Audi mated to a Ford Bronco transmission with Jeep transferbox

Back axle from a Jag, front from WWII Willys.

Currently running 205s on front and 750s on back due to different diff ratios.

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Rand Lover

(Member)

30/11/01 01:04 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Thats simple!

Remove wheels and Tyres, try to get hold of a set of 1981 Massey Fergeson 595 rims & tyres. You may have to remove a small amount of bodywork to get them to fit, but it'll be worth it! Don't worry about your different diff ratios, have you seen the power those toy cars that you drag backwards produce? You'll have a monster on your hands.

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cols110

(Member)

30/11/01 01:28 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Where`s my f@cking spider, Ive just checked and there is`nt one fitted, now I`m p1ssed.

Back at home you can get the odd 6 foot brown snake fitted too, NOW thats one option that makes you know your alive, after you have just closed the door.

cols110

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 01:49 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Cols110, if you don't ahve a spider, then you need LR part No SFK001 (spider fitting kit) These kits are a seasonal optional extra and you need to purchase the kit in mid-spring where it will germinate a week later. It is a very serious matter not to have the statutory spider in a Landrover and the only people that are exempt are those with V8 engines as it is considered that they have enough problems keeping water out of their engines!

(I'm for it now) Les.

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Landyman

(Member)

30/11/01 01:59 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Hey I have the obligatory spider in my 90.

I thought mine was unique

whats the part no for said spider?

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cols110

(Member)

30/11/01 02:15 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Aaarrgh, I see. Thanks Les my 110 is a V8, that explains the missing spider kit, I will keep my eyes peeled next spring as you never know when one just may turn up.

cols110

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Ian

(Member)

30/11/01 02:24 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by SG:

Rand.

What tyres should I use on my new project Hybrid.

Its a 1972 Rangerover chassis cut down to 84" wheelbase. 2" offset front to rear due to dodgy welding.

Suzuki Jimny Body cut down centre and widened to fit chassis.

5 cylinder engine from an old Audi mated to a Ford Bronco transmission with Jeep transferbox

Back axle from a Jag, front from WWII Willys.

Currently running 205s on front and 750s on back due to different diff ratios.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

round black ones

Ian

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priglet

(Member)

30/11/01 02:50 AM

Re: It's official Reply

cols110,

If you send me an sae I can supply a spider free of charge. My vehicle was built during the spider epidemic of 1995 when land rover had an excess of spiders and no where to store them so installed one in each corner of the vehicle.

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aardstrider

(Member)

30/11/01 02:51 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Is there a kit available for wading with LRS fitted Rand? I've tried 16 little wellies - V8s have twin-spiders - but they won't fit on.

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 03:16 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

The problem with the wellies is that the spiders cannot hang on their webs when wearing them and they then fall off and sometimes drown or get caught on the wing mirror of a passing S****i or J**p. This was a common reason for the serious mental problems encountered with LR spiders in the 80's. When you buy shackle bushes for your Landrover, the plastic tubey-bag that it comes in should be kept for the purpose of keeping Landyspider dry. The two power points on the Series dashboard were there for the Spider-dry which was an optional extra on all Landrovers up to 1985.

Les.

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Stuart Jenkins

(Member)

30/11/01 03:20 AM

Re: It's official Reply

My spider lives on the passenger side, but sometimes he has a wander around and drops down on a thread right into my line of vision while I'm driving!

I might have to resort to putting him on a lead - does anyone have the part number of the Genuine Parts one? These pattern spider leads are rubbish.

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 03:31 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

STC (spider tether cord) 002. Make sure you get a RHD one as it will confuse your spider.

Les.

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andih

(Member)

30/11/01 03:33 AM

Re: It's official Reply

so now i know that the LRS was standard fit, what i want to know is was my multi LRS an optional extra???

as my '96 110 also has an abundance in the roof linning.

i also assume that it was a clever piece of engineering by land rover in the fact that the cab always lets water in so as to provide liquid refreshment for the LRS

i also assume that it was deliberate policy for the passenger window not to wind all the way up whilst moving (unless the drivers window is partly down) to allow air flow to keep the LRS cool during hot weather

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cols110

(Member)

30/11/01 03:44 AM

Re: It's official Reply

TRUE STORY

When I was younger and more stupid, I just got my licence and first car a V8 4.2ltre HQ holden (for the benift of Aussie ussers) I just cracked 100mph on a quite open country road, pulled the sun visor down and there was this big black huntsman spider (big barsteds, not to dangerous or aggresive though) stareing at me, I shat myself, hit the picks, opened the door flicked it out and stomped on the barsted, then continued on at a much more subdued pace with a slightly higher heart rate.

cols110

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 03:45 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Andih, if you have multiple LRS inyou 90, then it is very rare. Landrover only fitted multi LRS at the beginning of the 90 production run and it has been proven that there are only 10 90's with multi LRS factory fitted. I think that you will find that Landrover Specially Silly Vehicles built these 10 vehicles with spider preservation body modifications. Unfortunately, the birth of the Discovery brought about the end of LRS as the interior was too softy/fluffy bunny/warmycosydry for the spiders.

Les.

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SVENUK

(Member)

30/11/01 03:56 AM

Re: It's official Reply

That confirms it.We are all finally cracked.My over half reads this forum and said we are bloody bonkers and need to all lye down in a dark room with a copy of a jeep catologue.Personnally i've got a whole tribe running riot in my 101gs.Anyway ,they keep you company when you are on your own.

101GS

81 RR lpg

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ISLWYN

(Member)

30/11/01 04:04 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Anyone know of the WEBsite address where I can buy a L.R.S. from.

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ibell

(Member)

30/11/01 04:43 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Carpfisher-

No, No, not TRIBE dammit! Ex-military vehicles, depending on size, were fitted with either a REGIMENT (101), COMPANY (109) or PLATOON (Lightweight). If you look carefully, you will see that each M.S.L.R.S.*(Mk.9, mod 3) is equipped with Boots, 8 in number, marching, for the use of. Also equipped (if combat regiment) with S.S.S.L.R.,0.0000762.** Here in Norway, the ex-military vehicles are equipped with

M.S.L.R.S.(Ski)(Winter Camouflage), or in summer M.S.L.R.S (S.B.S)***(S.C.U.S.B.A.)****

*Military Specification Land Rover Spider

**Spider Size Self Loading Rifle, 0.0000762 calibre

*** Spider Boat Service

****Self Contained Underwater Spider Breathing Aparatus

NOTE:Spiders thus equipped CANNOT be washed down the plughole in the bath. They just come back up again. Fit a ladder made from wool, (your sandbag may be able to knit a pretty one in matching colours), to the side of the bath. They can't climb out of the bath without one, as the Boots, 8 in number, Marching, for the use of, are tackitty and slide on the enamel. Now you know.

If you hear 7,clonk,7,clonk, you have a spider with a wooden leg. Treat this one with respect, as it has been wounded for Land Rover and Country.

This could turn out to be a very long 'thread'. Sorry!

Iain

Disco Col, try http://www.spiders.com !

[ 11-29-2001: Message edited by: ibell ]

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mr wuffles

(Member)

30/11/01 04:48 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Rand Lover:

I now offically know everthing in the world there is to know about LandRovers. Go-on, ask me anything.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

everything except Land Rover is two words

Rockslider

Could the early demise of the Centre Steer be down to a lack of LRS that would swing both ways? Or was it due to industrial action on the part of the LRS union,complaining about working conditions IE the excessive distances to be travelled from side to side of the cab? By the way,my 300 Tdi Disco had a resident LRS in the nearside alpine roof light.As this was a right hand drive,is it possible that there are mutant strains of LRS,or is it cross breeding with the BMWS? My new Td5 Disco does not have an LRS,which is a shame.Perhaps they are too ashamed to be seen in a Ford.EVEN SPIDERS HAVE PRINCIPALS.

(I'm going.I'll get therapy.Don't hit me.)

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Mike Brown

(Member)

30/11/01 05:36 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Fu*kin' lost it, the lot of you.

Aw man, why did I ever get involved??

Anyone wanna do a trade with my Lt/wt for a Mondeo???

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steve

(Member)

30/11/01 05:38 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Surely a spider that swings both ways would be more at home in a s***ki, complete with lowered suspension and ludicrously wide wheels!!!!

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cols110

(Member)

30/11/01 05:50 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Feck me mike a light weight for a mondeo you tell us who`s lost it.

I hope another L/R is in the pipe line.

cols110

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 06:07 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Ibell, you can't mention Spider boat service on the net! You are in breach of the Official Spider Act and are open to prosecution! It's slack comments like that that lead to terrorist ants invading spider secure zones.

Rockslider, I think you'll find that the centre steer was equipped with a specially trained spider that could make a web in both corners of a Landrover. I think the official name of this species was DCS (double-corner-spider)

Les.

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andih

(Member)

30/11/01 06:22 AM

Re: It's official Reply

les.

has anybody got any photos etc of DCS? to prove they existed.

do you know of any still about, or did they vanish along with the centre steer???

andi.

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brucep

(Member)

30/11/01 06:23 AM

Re: It's official Reply

You lot are 'kin barking, the lot of you!

Keep it up, this is the best laugh I've had in ages

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Jabber

(Member)

30/11/01 06:33 AM

Re: It's official Reply

This is SSS ( Serious Spider Stuff). Those members who think we have lost it must be WWW (Without Web Wonderment) Problems. Perhaps WWT (Web Weaving Training) is necessary for them.

The new TD5 (Terribly Dirty Mk5) with ABS (Anti British Spiders) and HDC (Heavy Disinfectant Control) may be the vehicle they long for.

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andih

(Member)

30/11/01 06:41 AM

Re: It's official Reply

on a serious note, does anybody know where i can get my LRS serviced?

because over the last few days i've noticed that mine are getting erratic, and dont seem to move about so much. i'd rather have them fixed before they breakdown altogether.

also is there anything that i can do to help them out as we work in centralish london a lot and i'm worried that the poor air quality may affect them?

andi.

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Mike Buckley

(Member)

30/11/01 06:47 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I'm getting stuck here - are you all spinning it out a bit? Surely it's time to fly off somewhere and catch something else in the web?

Incidentally, CSW's come with 1 internal spider, 2 external mirror-spiders and a work-light spider as standard fitment.

Extra was the roof-rack spider set - one per corner.

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sg

(Member)

30/11/01 06:50 AM

Re: It's official Reply

andih

I'm worried too.

cannot find any mention of LRS in the Haynes Manual.

Can someone with the original workshop manual oblige with maintainance schedule.

There are so many little parts. Do you need special tools for servicing or will Mk1 hammer do the job?

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vicky

(Member)

30/11/01 07:05 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Les Henson:

Unfortunately, the birth of the Discovery brought about the end of LRS as the interior was too softy/fluffy bunny/warmycosydry for the spiders.

Les.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hah!, That explains why mine lives in the wing mirror

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Gill Lill

(Member)

30/11/01 07:23 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I was enjoying all this until I saw the spider

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 07:29 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

I think you'll find that most manuals will not give any information about LRS. There was a special handbook supplied with the vehicles from new. To protect the species, the books were made out of a special type of paper that disintegrated after it had been read. Most LRS become lethargic at this time of the year due to the cold weather. They have 16 testicles inside a long, thin scrotum which contracts in the cold causing the body muscles to slow down. You might notice that the LRS re-activates when the inside of your Landrover warms up (LOL)

Les.

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Priglet

(Member)

30/11/01 08:11 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I've heard a rumour that on vehicles imported to Australia the standard spec LRS was not considered dangerous enough so was replaced by Land Rover Australia with the red back LRS and that Tomb Raider vehicles come with a matching pair of Funnel Web LRS.

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Mike Brown

(Member)

30/11/01 08:20 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Les Henson:

...Most LRS become lethargic at this time of the year due to the cold weather. ...You might notice that the LRS re-activates when the inside of your Landrover warms up

Les.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, this has gone far enough.

I hope that you realise that a SS(seriously sluggish)LRS in your possession leaves you liable under the Health & Safety in Land Rovers at Work & Play Act 1978.

Under Section 14B, Page 762, Para 32, line 18, you have a duty to provide a suitable environment for LRS. Furthermore LRS found in vehicles, condemns the vehicles to become sites of Special Scientific Interest. (Quite how the dept. is keeping track of all Land Rovers beats me.)

Anyway, if you don't exercise due care to LRS you will be subject to the same penalties as this man:

So let this be a warning, now's the time to install that Jemp air heater or Kenlow pre-heater just so we can keep those critters scampering.

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m j little

(Member)

30/11/01 08:30 AM

Re: It's official Reply

My Lightweight came supplied with several dozen ex Military LRS's which I now find surplus to requirements and would be willing to sell or swop said beasties if anyone has anything interesting to put in exchange,all items considered except Wasps,Bees or any other stinging type monsters! Might be interested in a mouse? WHY?

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Aardstrider

(Member)

30/11/01 08:44 AM

Re: It's official Reply

OHMIGOD I've been patially responsible for creating this thread. For years to come people will be reading this cojones (gets Spanish dictionary out). It's all your fault Rand what with your oily 110 & talk of exotic L/R parts. Next thing we know, Solihull will be issuing an abject denial, which means it's official.

It's alive.....alive

Just come back from a lock-in

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 03:30 PM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Time Bandit, I have got a small family of 1977 threadworms that have been living in the passenger side footwell for a long time and would like to replace them with Desert Storm Camo spiderlings. I know they prefer Defenders, but I think they will settle in quite nicely if I make a few mods. I was thinking of fitting an original Landrover spider nest with damp/draught accessory.

Les.

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theboy

(Member)

30/11/01 05:02 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Les

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

damp/draught accessory.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Correct me if i am wronge but i thought they were standerd?

Boy

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Exmoor Beast

(Member)

30/11/01 06:07 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Right who started mentioning spiders!! Oh.

I'll get my coat...

Will

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Rand Lover

(Member)

30/11/01 06:13 PM

Re: It's official Reply

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Bigfoot

(Member)

30/11/01 06:15 PM

Re: It's official Reply

A sticker??

I want one!!!

No, two - one for each Land Rover

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M005

(Member)

30/11/01 06:18 PM

Re: It's official Reply

If my Sandbag saw that she wouldn't go near the Disco.

Where do I get one

Random thought - why is it that all Sandbags are arachnophobs ??

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Simon_CSK

(Member)

30/11/01 06:19 PM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Stuart Jenkins:

My spider lives on the passenger side, but sometimes he has a wander around and drops down on a thread right into my line of vision while I'm driving!

I might have to resort to putting him on a lead - does anyone have the part number of the Genuine Parts one? These pattern spider leads are rubbish.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stuart was your landy a left hand drive EX MOD that has been converted to RHD? That would explain why the spider is on the left. By converting to RHD it is obvoiusly confused. You should have got the spider converted at the same time as the steering.

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Rand Lover

(Member)

30/11/01 06:56 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Re: If ppl want a LRS FITTED sticker...

1. email me (in profile) and I will send you a high quality version of the image. Then you can get hold of a sheet of sticky A4 paper to use in you printer. Possibly have it laminated afterwards.

2. As long as demand is not crazy, I may be able to make a few up. But they will be sticky on the back and not laminated. Again email me (in profile)

3.Just right click on the image above, click 'save as' print it and tape it in your wagon.

I have just fitted mine, and it looks good.

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Mylightweight

(Member)

30/11/01 07:22 PM

Re: It's official Reply

I would just like to say that my lightweight(get it) has a regiment of fully trained S.A.S.S (special air-borne spider service) spiders and when you are driving along with the windows open they re-inact the taking of Antirainian embassey, you know crashing in through the windows. You can get a regiment of these spiders from any local Land rover dealer part number :sass100852reg at a cost of £2.50 (bargain) keep you entertained for ages ****** N.B. S.A.S.S spiders are specific to lightweights only I'm affraid

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sMUDge

(Member)

30/11/01 07:32 PM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Les Henson:

Unfortunately, the birth of the Discovery brought about the end of LRS as the interior was too softy/fluffy bunny/warmycosydry for the spiders.

Les.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How wrong you are Les, with the Discovery and early 90's came PAS, ("Provided a snarler"), which you may note is a rework of "A Landrover Spider". This was a highly toned, strong & very aggressive spider.

They actually cost Landrover a lot of money, when many went haywire, beneath the Discovery dashboards, pushing the dash upwards, the rest as they say is history.

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Dr Goon

(Member)

30/11/01 07:38 PM

Re: It's official Reply

My 110 CSW started life with the diplomatic service in Cameroon. Would a standard british spec LRS have been fitted before export or would a local tropical spec one be fitted on arrival in Africa?

Gordon

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cols110

(Member)

30/11/01 07:54 PM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Dr Goon:

My 110 CSW started life with the diplomatic service in Cameroon. Would a standard british spec LRS have been fitted before export or would a local tropical spec one be fitted on arrival in Africa?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is an easy one to answer, the 110 CSW(county spider wagon) export models had to be fitted with spiders of a local variaty for imigration reasons, I know for a fact that theres no way australia would allow spiders with foot and mouth into the country.

For more information on the spiders fitted to the Cameroon models it maybe worth asking Rob Stewart as he is bound to have all the info on all LRS products.

cols110

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Smudge

It was'nt until the TD 5, that real changes were noticed, when Landrover broke off with SAS (Solihull Arachnid Suppliers), and went for the cheaper German made "Critters".

The introduction of the ETC (extra toothed critter) supposed to give better traction, because of it aforementioned extra teeth, and the HDC (head downhill critter) These "Critters", took some of the control away from the driver, which many people were'nt keen on.

The "Critters" were not up to the rigours of serious off road driving, and are now mainly found in big towns and cities, which suits them much better.

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: sMUDge ]

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Jabber

(Member)

30/11/01 07:56 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Marc, I think the sticker is webtastic! Well done mate, what talent!

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G r a h a m

(Member)

01/12/01 08:42 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by M005:

Random thought - why is it that all Sandbags are arachnophobs ??

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's Freudian - they're worried about where the creepy crawlies could crawl!

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G r a h a m

(Member)

01/12/01 08:57 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Here's a picture of a Genuine Parts Land Rover Spider

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: G r a h a m ]

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SG

(Member)

30/11/01 09:17 PM

Re: It's official Reply

You're not looking after it properly.

Its already lost 4 legs ( Could be ex military )

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G r a h a m

(Member)

30/11/01 09:24 PM

Re: It's official Reply

I know; my Spider has been on its last legs for a while.

How much is involved in rebuilding a spider? Could I do it myself or would I have to get it done professionally? (Does anyone know any good independent Land Rover vets near Edinburgh?) Or would I be better to go for a reconditioned spider with a Stage II head?

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: G r a h a m ]

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

30/11/01 09:48 PM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Graham, you might be able to get a clone spider but at the present level of developement, there is a problem with them getting attached to 'other' 4X4's.

Smudge, I think you will find that PAS actually stands for Poor Arachnid Substitute. If you have got one, look carefully up it's arse and you will see a microscopic nickel-hydride battery. There was a problem with the circuitry in these little robots which is why they are so aggressive.

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Land Duck

(Member)

30/11/01 10:12 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Its -15 outside right now - my spiders are in hibernation pending installation of Weberspacher heater. Meanwhile are arctic-bred spiders (ABS) still available? They grip better on the ice encrusted windscreen I believe.

Post Extras:

Exmoor Beast

(Member)

30/11/01 10:42 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Now stop it, its getting silly now!

Will

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Charles Edwards

(Member)

30/11/01 11:00 PM

Re: It's official Reply

After seeing this discussion it has now dawned on me that the safari cage fitted to my Anniversary Defender is not there to protect me but to provide web mounting points for spiders, should there be 50 in residence as the name suggests or just the standard factory fit item?

Charlie

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

(Member)

01/12/01 12:08 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

If you have 50 spiders, then apart from being very greedy, you could also be charged with overcrowding your Landy. There was a consultation document issued by Landrover in the 80's about the required amount of leg room required for the standard-size LRS. The conclusion was as follows:-

SWB = 10

LWB = 15

Defender 90 = 12

Defender 110 = 15

Discovery = 16

Lightweight = 10 (up to 20 LRS's are allowed in a military conflict)

Freeloader = (none permitted)

Special licences are needed for hybrids and bobtails.

Les.

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Rand Lover

(Member)

01/12/01 12:18 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I heard that the CSW (County Spider Wagon) was specially made to be like a giant spider hot house? and is therefore allowed to home more than the standard amount of LRS?

Is this true, or am I being bonkers?

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: Rand Lover ]

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Dr Goon

(Member)

01/12/01 12:23 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Just the one LRS in mine as far as I can ascertain..........although it is a bluddy big one

Gordon

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Simon_CSK

(Member)

01/12/01 12:53 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by V8 50:

After seeing this discussion it has now dawned on me that the safari cage fitted to my Anniversary Defender is not there to protect me but to provide web mounting points for spiders, should there be 50 in residence as the name suggests or just the standard factory fit item?

Charlie

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Be very carefull Charlie. If your insurance finds out about this over loading you may not be covered.

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jalden

(Member)

01/12/01 01:07 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I am upset now as it appears that my LRS was killed/ confiscated by Immigration and Naturalization when the LR came across the pond. Rover North get them in on occasion but they only get the LHD ones or surplus IH Scout ones that die in LR. Mehetabel has gone all blue and leaky since she lost her spider (oh wait she was that way to begin with .

To get back on subject, Rand Lover since you know everything, tell me how to get my Landie to stop leaking (that'll shut him up )

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M005

(Member)

01/12/01 01:09 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tell me how to get my Landie to stop leaking

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thats like asking who is God?

Its one of those questions on which the informed (or not) can talk for days on without actually ever offering any tangible solutions.

And I agree with you - it will shut him up

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Jabber

(Member)

01/12/01 01:33 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Brilliant fitted one 4" LRS sticker as a an anti theft device!

Just realised a smaller one in a tax disc holder on the windscreen will stop all those 'FLIES' on the motorways.

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sMUDge

(Member)

01/12/01 01:49 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Mehetabel:

To get back on subject, Rand Lover since you know everything, tell me how to get my Landie to stop leaking (that'll shut him up )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I know that, and it's really simple, in principle.

Simply turn your Landy inside out

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

(Member)

01/12/01 02:04 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Don't forget that when you turn a Landrover inside out, you will need to re-install your LRS.

Les.

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Simon_CSK

(Member)

01/12/01 03:01 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Les Henson:

Don't forget that when you turn a Landrover inside out, you will need to re-install your LRS.

Les.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ahh Les you will need to do a complete rebuild first to re-install it

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ISLWYN

(Member)

01/12/01 03:26 AM

Re: It's official Reply

John Entwhistle had the right idea. Nice sticker by the way Rand, guess who'll be nicking some sticky labels from work tomorrow, I,d print some off in work, but a 4-colour fiddle is taking the p155.

Creepy crawly.

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: DISCO COL ]

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rockslider

(Member)

01/12/01 05:28 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I don't know how to break this to you guys,but, having said that the Td5 Disco didn't have a LRS,well,I found it under the wheel arch today whilst washing it.Unfortunately the poor thing was drowned before I could rescue it,and,despite mouth to mouth resuscitation attempts,it passed away at 14.35 hrs.Greenwich Mean Time.The vision of those eight lifeless eyes staring sightlessly at me will haunt me for therest of my days.How can you forgive me for terminating the life of such a rare creature?

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waldothegreat

(Member)

01/12/01 05:58 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Les. When the Disco was introduced they just produced a heavier duty LRS. Mine lives outside behind the o/s wing mirror. Even a jet wash won't shift him!

andih. I thought the whole idea of running a landy was to do your own servicing. So service your own LRS. I do.

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

01/12/01 06:25 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Rockslider, that was very careless of you. No wonder this creature is on the decline. As a form of punishment, you must beat yourself about the buttocks and 'other' lower bits with a thorny branch.

Waldo, it is a well-known fact that in the mild weather, LRS will spend a lot of the time on the wing mirror mostly checking it's make-up and trying to look cool.

Les.

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EdF

(Member)

01/12/01 06:37 AM

Re: It's official Reply

OK, clever clogs, how do you spell axle????

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vicky

(Member)

01/12/01 07:01 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by sMUDge:

They actually cost Landrover a lot of money, when many went haywire, beneath the Discovery dashboards, pushing the dash upwards

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's what caused it

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Jabber

(Member)

01/12/01 07:10 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Vicky, really great posting! I have tried to copy on glossy paper but the beasts will not move. I hope I have not killed them.

Can you help me?

[ 11-30-2001: Message edited by: Jabber ]

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ISLWYN

(Member)

01/12/01 07:20 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by vicky:

So that's what caused it

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Them feckers owe me four hundred quid.

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Des Morgan

(Member)

01/12/01 02:49 PM

Re: It's official Reply

NO, this is not " Pick a Box". I misunderstood the sequence of how to 'tidy up' my post. I must have done an excellent job because it disappeared completely.

B@gger!

It was the first time I've used all the "bells & whistles", so it's not surprising, seeing there is a lack of instructions in this area. Go on Des, blame everyone else why don't you ?

Des.

[ 12-02-2001: Message edited by: Des Morgan ]

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vicky

(Member)

01/12/01 03:58 PM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Jabber:

I have tried to copy on glossy paper but the beasts will not move. I hope I have not killed them.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You probably squashed them when they came through the printer

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rtbarton

Great Gifs Vicky - my cat was mesmorised!

PS I fitted a cat to my Landy and LRS disappeared overnight.

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Bigfoot

(Member)

01/12/01 06:30 PM

Re: It's official Reply

vicky strikes again

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

02/12/01 01:21 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Is that the LRS and the fitting kit there Des? Very hard-to-come-by bits there mate.

Les.

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waldothegreat

(Member)

02/12/01 02:38 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I've just asked the sandbag for a pair of matching LHS and RHS LRS's for Xmas. She wants to know how much they cost and can you buy them at recognised LR discount stores. I've told her I don't need the fitting kit as I'm handy at making those sort of things myself.

Can't wait for Xmas day now. Dunno wheather to fit the spotlights first or the LRS's.

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Jabber

(Member)

02/12/01 02:43 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Pretty obvious, spotlights or you will not see the LRSs. They will probably be attracted to the warmth of the spots anyway.

Keep us informed on their breeding times, could get some ready for the next Sodbury!

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swops.

(Member)

02/12/01 03:46 AM

Re: It's official Reply

my series 2A seems to always have one bee in it thus proving my LRS isn't working or worst the LRS got lost during the great rebuild of 99, how do I refit the LRS.

A bloke down at the pub offered me a LRS built in 1996 but a guy at the work said it wouldn't work due to the millennium bug , it would destroy the LRS and then eat it

Is this true , hope not because the LRS was offered at £50.00 , is that a fair price?

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rtbarton

(Member)

02/12/01 03:55 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I bought a LRS from my main dealer, it cost me a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg.

Post Extras:

Bigfoot

(Member)

02/12/01 03:58 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Roger Barton:

I bought a LRS from my main dealer, it cost me a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg, and a leg.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

LOL LOL

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Leslie Henson

(Member)

02/12/01 04:31 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Had to make the 100th post!

Les.

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

(Member)

02/12/01 04:36 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

You can buy after-market LRS's from places such as Craddocks and Paddocks, but they don't have the oval badge. The S1 club has some original LRS's still in the original packaging, but are only selling them to club members at £45.00 each.

Les.

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Kim H

(Member)

02/12/01 05:01 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Just come back from MOT test and failed because an out of sorts glow worm, near side and the poor condition of the Spider Web Welding Kit,the guy told me that I would be wasting my money getting cheap pattern parts and should go the the genuine Landrover ones Part No B156PP007.

When did this come under the MOT test? Is it a new requiement from the EU.

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andih

(Member)

02/12/01 05:02 AM

Re: It's official Reply

HELP....... my LRS have disapeared from my 110!!!!!!!

either some theiving ******* has nicked them (no signs of forced entry) or they have finally broken down......

any ideas on how to check this problem out???

on the other hand my 200tdi disco does have 1 or 2 extra. is it possible to take LRS from defender 300 tdi into disco 200 tdi???

as i know that not all parts are interchangeable.

andi

Post Extras:

m j little

(Member)

02/12/01 06:17 AM

Re: It's official Reply

The weather must be getting colder, I noticed a raiding party of Commando LRS have broken out of my Lightweight and have taken control of a corner of my kitchen beside the radiator.

I am expecting a full scale invasion of my kitchen by the main body of LRS in the very near future!!

Post Extras:

Des Morgan

(Member)

02/12/01 06:33 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is that the LRS and the fitting kit there Des? Very hard-to-come-by bits there mate.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

No Les, the fitting kit is still hard to come by over here in the Antipodes, but I have put the 'feelers' out for a fitting kit for down under.

Does anyone have the P/N for Box, Cricket type? I am assuming the 'Cricket' type is also suitable for LRSpiders, & while being being a little larger are also a lot noisier, something to be aware of in OZ when fitting LRS's.

I don't believe I actually joined in this thread, bloody Landies, it's said they'll drive you nuts.

Des.

Post Extras:

ian linford

(Member)

02/12/01 06:46 AM

Re: It's official Reply

beware of the nut that holds the steering wheel !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he/she maybe dangerous

Post Extras:

meadowrover

(Member)

02/12/01 06:47 AM

Re: It's official Reply

I am having trouble with my LRS's, they have moved outside and into the wing mirrors, The sandbag says I am tight because I won't put the heater on. Could any of you LRS technicians advise me as to whether the lack of heating may be responsible for the migration. I am also rather worried, will they need Anti Freeze. Please reply quickly as a frost is forcast for this evening.

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

(Member)

02/12/01 08:29 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

Being as tough as the vehicles they live in, your LRS will go temporarily dormant during cold snaps. Once the Landy warms up (LOL) they re-activate and will move about as normal.

Les.

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cols110

(Member)

02/12/01 08:46 AM

Re: It's official Reply

In OZ the LRS has several variations, on a standard L/R you get the spider, but you have to specify which one, huntsman, red back, funnel web or a harmless plain old daddy long legs, you also have the option of the LRS (land rover scorpian) these are mainly for people in the hotter drier desert type areas, but for people who want their landy with everything you get the LRS extra(land rover snake) great for if you never want your sandbag to travel with you, but can be a bit dangerous depending on the model specified, you usually get the anti-venom with these models as there is nothing worse than being stuck in the middle of know where when it turns on you.

cols110

Post Extras:

rtbarton

(Member)

02/12/01 06:40 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Colls be careful .... I notice you mention daddy long legs. In the UK at least this is not a genuine LRS. It is sold as such by unscruplous dealers but when you get it home there are only 6 legs and a pair of wings. If you decide to keep it it must fixed with stronger bolts than normal as it is inclined to fly off.

Post Extras:

Bigfoot

(Member)

02/12/01 07:08 PM

Re: It's official Reply

I can confirm that "daddy long legs" is not a genuine Land Rover part and may invalidate your warranty !

Post Extras:

ChrisW

(Member)

03/12/01 08:39 AM

Re: It's official Reply

It is most unadviseable to completely rebuild a LRS ISO (inside out). ISO LRS's are extremely fragile due to their fragile bits being exposed to the elements, and so require part no LRS 0588329 suffix B to protect them. Because the rebuilding is generally unsuccessful, the part is extremely expensive due to low demand and lawyers fees, and comes accompanied with a High Court writ to have your Land Rover forcibly removed from your possession due to 'damage with malicious intent' of said LRS.

Post Extras:

Alan H

(Member)

02/12/01 10:35 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Thank goodness someone else has external spiders. Mine have large suckers (probably ex-octopus) on their legs as it tends to get a bit draughty on the front bumper and mirrors at ton plus. The scruffy sods inside don't clean up after themselves either. Eat the flies and just spit out the empty cases onto the dashboard. Hardly any room for dust anymore. Like Frankie goes to hollywood in fact, two friggin tribes.

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

(Member)

03/12/01 02:01 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

I was up on the byeways around Swindon and Devizes today when I noticed that my LRS was missing! I stopped and walked back through the mud and eventually found the poor thing half-drowned and looking very sorry for itself. I called the LRSRS (Landrover spider rescue service) and they flew out to my location in the SERH (spider emergency recovery helicopter). Due to their prompt skillfull medical attention, my LRS is now safe and warm (LOL) again. This is a true story and I am not telling any porkies.

Les.

Post Extras:

rtbarton

(Member)

03/12/01 02:28 AM

Re: It's official Reply

What type of helicopter do the SERH use? Flying pigs?

Post Extras:

Baldrick

(Member)

03/12/01 02:28 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Jabber- funny you should mention LRS's and anti theft devices, because funnily enough, it has been rumoured that LR are developing a new breed of LRS, which will render satilite tracking devices obsolete. the HAT LRS as its known to the powers that be (homing & anti theft LRS) will detach its self from the vehicle during a forced entry but will remain attached by a single thread. So when you return to find your LR gone, you simply pick up the HAT LRS and follow the thread! They've been having some problems during testing trying to destroy the natural instinct of the LRS to cling to the LR with all its might.the NSPCS have been inundated with calls from depressed LRS who claim they've got squatting rights

Post Extras:

rockslider

(Member)

03/12/01 04:40 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Roger,the SERH use the old 1957 "Dragonfly" helicopter,as Bolkows' and Ecureils' tend to frighten an already sick creature.However,many of the LRS now belong to the RAC,Rescued Arachnids Collective,so they may be returned to your home address if damaged on the road.

Post Extras:

sMUDge

(Member)

03/12/01 05:18 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Baldrick:

you simply pick up the HAT LRS and follow the thread!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At last a "thread" you can follow, 'cos this ones lost it long ago !!

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rtbarton

(Member)

03/12/01 05:59 AM

Re: It's official Reply

Rockslider - Thanks for putting me right about the helicopters, for one moment I thought Les was treating a serious subject with frivolity.

Post Extras:

brucep

(Member)

03/12/01 07:25 AM

Re: It's official Reply

As the 109 is not on the road at the moment, what precautions should I take to protect the factory fitted, optional extra and after market LRS's which have acumulated over the years?

Should I temporarily install them in the Range Rover or are Series III LRS's incompatible with Range Rover ones?

Post Extras:

Des Morgan

(Member)

03/12/01 08:59 AM

Re: It's official Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

. This is a true story and I am not telling any porkies.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of course not Les, I for one believe you.

I also think the World is flat, Landies don't break down & the Yanks will take Bin liner alive.

Des.

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

Checked my LRS first thing this morning and he seems ok. Gave him a couple of fruit flies for breakfast and he only ate one. The little devil may be trying to 'milk' the attention he's getting.

Les.

Post Extras:

Exmoor Beast

(Member)

03/12/01 05:29 PM

Re: It's official Reply

I am thinking of installing rear steering to my 110 to try and minimise the disturbance to the LRS I have fitted, I think it is a rare Electricity Board Spider and they are a bugger to replace.

Has anyone carried out this conversion?

Will

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wettstuff

(Member)

03/12/01 05:35 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Guys, oh dear.

A mate of mine was reading this thread and wants to know the details of fitting an LRS into a T@y*t# Hi@ux.

Obviously i have advised him that fitting said LRS, will invalidate his warranty on his shinny piece of japanese plastic. Also it would be a very traumatic experience for them.

Please help me. I dont want thr RSPCS on my back.

Mark

Post Extras:

Jabber

(Member)

03/12/01 06:09 PM

Re: It's official Reply

GREAT NEWS

Since informing the world via the "sticker" that I have LRS fitted it has definitely worked as an effective alarm system. The Disco has not been touched at all - conclusive proof.

Also the smaller sticker on the front windscreen has stopped flies committing suicide on my Disco. Total success, any one else noticed these hidden advantages yet.

Post Extras:

Ian Heppinstall

(Member)

03/12/01 07:59 PM

Re: It's official Reply

Can anyone identify the species of LRS that I have? They seem to be an extremely tough breed, not theese feeble behind mirror/ corner of window types oh no. These are real tough guys. They spin their web on the radiator grill of my Range Rover and catch flies with a relative speed of 70mph plus!!!!

For this they have developed an extra special kind of web. The web is strong enough to catch a fly impacting at 70mph plus, yet sufficiently elastic to avoid shredding said fly and sending it into the radiator. They really thrive because of course they can catch many times more flies than a normal LRS, and they also have the benifit of stopping flies from clogging up the rad!!!

Post Extras:

Leslie Henson

(Member)

04/12/01 08:10 AM

Re: It's official Edit Reply

quote:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by wettstuff:

A mate of mine was reading this thread

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