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I have returned


Tufty

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I tried - I really did try, but it's got me again.

Last year I decided that my 300 Tdi Discovery was no longer the most practical vehicle for my needs. After all, I didn't really need four wheel drive, did I? And it was getting to be a bind, putting three kids in three different types of child seat in the back. I managed to convince myself that the child seat problem was down to the intrusion of the wheelarches - necessary for articulation - that narrowed the effective width of the seat. Fuel consumption was becoming an issue - 'You put HOW MUCH in the tank?...' So I bought a very comfy and posh '02 Voyager. Oh yes, that was more like it - pretty quick, a fair bit better on fuel and an even better stereo. The oil patch on the drive started to look neglected.

Then the Luddite in me received a bit of a shock. The immobiliser light came on. It wouldn't start. I phoned round and discovered that no-one but a Chrysler dealer could plug it in for a diagnosis. Bad enough, but when I spoke to my local dealer's technical department, the little man said based on previous instances of immobiliser problems on '02s, I was probably looking at between £1000 and £1500. A local independent specialist said he'd buy the car - for a grand. It was valued at three. I removed the battery, charged it, put it back in and the problem went away. Phew! An electronics engineer (a real one - proper qualifications and everything!) of my acquaintance suggested that some water had probably found its way into something it shouldn't, then evaporated. On an '02 Voyager there are computers for everything - including the turning on of the lights, indicators, electric driver's seat - everything. I began to feel afraid. All those things to go wrong, and every single one would require main dealer attention. My old Disco got lovely and warm and always started well however cold it got. The Voyager had a posh temperature readout in the overhead display. If it read less than minus 2 I didn't even try - just got out the jump leads and my wife's 2000 Punto. Add to all that the fact that I needed binoculars to see the screen of my little sat nav and... well, it had to go. Enter stage right, my One Ten County Station Wagon. Arriving tomorrow. I can't wait! I suppose I'll take Landroveritis to my grave.

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