Anglo-Frenchman Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Here's another of his: 'Last night I came home drunk and accidentially tried to open the door to my appartment with my ignition key. I'd driven two blocks beofre I realsied! A cop pulled me over and told me I was doing more than 55 mph, bit I said I'd only been driving for 30 minutes so it was OK!'. Talk about surreal! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark green 90 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Bit Bored so What annoys you? (or what annoys you after the mrs (or mr)has been using the motor) 1. Every time i get in the car after the Mrs there is no fuel. (the light goes on after a mile, How does she judge that?) 2. She never puts the CD's away, 3. She never puts the seat back! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 My wife races in comp safari. 1) when her car brackes its my fault 2) after racing its my job to clean it as well as my own car 3) after I have loaded up the car driven from say scotland to Southampton (home) I still have to empty the living part of the camper while she has been sleeping 4) she never put my seat back 5) she complanens about my car & my driving 6) if I drive to fast she complains 7) if I drive too slow she takes the pi55 8) she earns more than me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark green 90 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 My wife races in comp safari.1) when her car brackes its my fault 2) after racing its my job to clean it as well as my own car 3) after I have loaded up the car driven from say scotland to Southampton (home) I still have to empty the living part of the camper while she has been sleeping 4) she never put my seat back 5) she complanens about my car & my driving 6) if I drive to fast she complains 7) if I drive too slow she takes the pi55 8) she earns more than me Sh*t i feel better already Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I sold a 88 when I was 17 to a chap and I didn't fill out the old keeper bit old type log book. I ended up in court for unpaid parking tickets and several ram raided off licences . I got find for not registering that I had sold the car my Dyslexia help as the Court took pity on me for not understanding the law. that is a experience I will never forget Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeagent Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I spend at least one saturday or sunday a month working on, and maintaining my car... i probably spend £500 a year on parts, although I do admit some of those are to replace bits i broke off-roading... My good lady spends nothing on car maintenance, her car only sees a garage once a year at MOT time... yet when ever i go in it with her, she says "can you hear that rattle" or "do you think my car is making a funny noise" I get moaned at for spending time/ money on my car, but she moans when she gets a huge repair bill come MOT time it'll all end soon, as she's getting a new 07 plate car next month.... other things... If we go on a long journey, she sleeps all the way, then moans she's tired/uncomfortable/ needs the loo If she needs to move my car more than about 3 feet, she adjusts all the mirrors, the seat, everything... if i drive her car halfway accross the country, and move the seat, she spends the next week moaning about how she cant get it right... I'm the only one who buys oil, screenwash, any other car consumables... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yostumpy Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 My wife races in comp safari.1) when her car brackes its my fault 2) after racing its my job to clean it as well as my own car 3) after I have loaded up the car driven from say scotland to Southampton (home) I still have to empty the living part of the camper while she has been sleeping 4) she never put my seat back 5) she complanens about my car & my driving 6) if I drive to fast she complains 7) if I drive too slow she takes the pi55 8) she earns more than me well Jules as they say in the camel Trophy world ONE WIFE LIVE IT!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 well Jules as they say in the camel Trophy world ONE WIFE LIVE IT!!!! All true but I don't have to lift a finger in the home so I don't to too bad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holyzeus Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 very good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geoffbeaumont Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 3. She never puts the seat back! Do a deal with her: she puts the car seat back, you'll put the toilet seat down Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul64 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Who tows a caravan with their LR? Just been offered a caravan for 100 euro. This could solve the bed in the back problem, and give a little extra comfort. I have all the electrics fitted, so ready to go. However, is it a real drag on long trips, especially when you can't go that fast anyway? Cheers, Paul Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeryDisco Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 What annoys me is: I go laning the Disco get's itself all muddy and I have to clean it off. I fill The Disco up with oil, and it drops spots on my block paving. When I go out I wear high heels I have to move the seat, then when I wear trainers the seats all wrong. If I don't grease the UJ's it get's all sulky and the props start to fail. It's 20 years younger than me, and it'll certainly be knackered before I am! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve King Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 What annoys me? Well seeing as SWMBO doesn't drive:- Plonkers who park ½" from the rear door of my Defender (really great when you are trying to load camping gear/fishing tackle and/or shopping!!) People who let their dogs cr@p in the road! I do not have a garage & trying to service my Landy in the road is bad enough without dog plop! Apart from that trying to load up via the rear door can be a nightmare if there is a steaming pile of dog's eggs!!! Steve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reads90 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 My wife races in comp safari.1) when her car brackes its my fault 2) after racing its my job to clean it as well as my own car 3) after I have loaded up the car driven from say scotland to Southampton (home) I still have to empty the living part of the camper while she has been sleeping 4) she never put my seat back 5) she complanens about my car & my driving 6) if I drive to fast she complains 7) if I drive too slow she takes the pi55 8) she earns more than me Don't forget when you then beats you at racing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francis Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 I have used a lot of them. The best one, by far, is 'FILE SCAVENGER'. I was planning to setup a business recovering lost files and corrupted file systems. Not got around to that yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Francis Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 http://www.quetek.com/prod02.htm Not free. But amazing results. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reads90 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Ok well i can't moan too much about my wife apart from She can't seamed to get a smooth gear change in the 90. Hence why i drove most of the trip around aus. Scared me when you hear that clonk from underneth when ever she changes gear. Even more so when you have a ton of trailer on the back. (Jules knows what i mean , you should have seen the look on his face when she gave us a lift to the strip club on his stag night ) Moans about how much i used to spend on the old 90. Called it the mistress in the end because i spent more money on it , more time with it , and f****d it more than i did her She also can't stop buying DVD's , got more bloody DVD's than Blockbusters To add I was in Kmart the other day and they had a 30% off tool boxes. So bought a snap on style big tool box on wheel (you know the sort with the roller front and all the draws, well chuffed with it. Need to get new tools as i got rid of my old ones when we left UK). But anyway . While queing to pay . She says to me . Now don't lie to me. This is it for all the stuff you need for the garage is'anit it I did not answer. she then says did you hear me and then repets it. I just say nothing and look at here.. She says why are you not answering me . Well i said you told me not to Lie the bloke behind her just Mildly miffed himself with laughter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark green 90 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Do a deal with her: she puts the car seat back, you'll put the toilet seat down NEVER!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
western Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 What annoys me is:I go laning the Disco get's itself all muddy and I have to clean it off. I fill The Disco up with oil, and it drops spots on my block paving. When I go out I wear high heels I have to move the seat, then when I wear trainers the seats all wrong. If I don't grease the UJ's it get's all sulky and the props start to fail. It's 20 years younger than me, and it'll certainly be knackered before I am! don't go laning in muddy places don't drive it then you won't have to put oil in don't drive in high heels, then you won't have to move the seat again if you don't drive it grease will stay in the prop uj's no comment, I value my life only joking Fi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark green 90 Posted February 2, 2007 Share Posted February 2, 2007 Legally you cant go that fast, but if loaded correctly you can motor on with a caravan and for 100 euro you cant go wrong, weigh it in if you dont like it.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRecklessEngineer Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 When investigating strange noises from the front axle...pulling the hub apart, putting it all back together and when you put the drive member on, you realise you forgot to refit the CV joint and drive shaft. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reads90 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Well at the moment I am at work and its 35 degrees and my wifes family are swimming in my pool , drinking my beer , eating my food cooked on my new BBQ The only thing to cheer me up here is the Scott Mills Wonder years blasting out across the shop, with the song that reminds of one of jules mates James , so that has made me laugh for the 3 mins:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark green 90 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Well at the moment I am at work and its 35 degrees and my wifes family are swimming in my pool , drinking my beer , eating my food cooked on my new BBQ The only thing to cheer me up here is the Scott Mills Wonder years blasting out across the shop, with the song that reminds of one of jules mates James thats a shame its -4 here right now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MJG Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 Who tows a caravan with their LR?Just been offered a caravan for 100 euro. This could solve the bed in the back problem, and give a little extra comfort. I have all the electrics fitted, so ready to go. However, is it a real drag on long trips, especially when you can't go that fast anyway? Cheers, Paul We towed a 'van for many years firstly with a '96 300tdi Discovery and then with a '02 td5 Discovery. The vans we had were large heavy twin axle Swifts. Of course they do slow you down to some degree but to be honest you just adapt to this, once up to speed (leagal max in the UK being 60mph when towing on the motorway) the effect on the Discovery(s) was negligible. This wasn't the aspect of caravaning that led us to give up - it was the hassle associated with the fact we had to keep the 'van away from home and on the secure site it was on it was a bit of a chew getting it in and out, it became just too much hassle so we sold up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul64 Posted February 3, 2007 Share Posted February 3, 2007 I just like the idea of a mobile afternoon kip! Just pull over and nip into the back for a cuppa, and a snooze. My Wife's cousin has just been over from Transylvania and bought one in Holland. He is on the road as we speak, driving the 1200 miles back. I had thought about this in the past, and now with some proper pulling power, and the electrics and tow ball in place, I'm going to do it. He did warn me about Hungary though. He said never stop the night in a lay by. Apparently there are Russian and Ukrainians patrolling the motorways at night looking for unsuspecting holiday makers. They spray a heavy duty sedative gas through the air vents! (something like that Russian theatre siege) then break in a clean you out. He said you will be lucky to wake up with your underpants remaining. I have heard of this before, as it happened to one of my Nurses near Nice in France. They were so knackered that they couldn't be bothered to look for a camp site in their camper van, so went for the lay by option. Her and her husband had their two daughters with them as well. They woke at 11am thinking that it was odd to wake up so late. She noticed the door wasn't shut properly, and then realised the camper was stripped of their posessions. Everything gone. They all had splitting headaches, and were taken into hospital by the police for tests. Anyway the moral of my relatives story is when in Hungary stick to official sites, as it is no longer safe on the highway. Cheers, Paul. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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