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JeffR
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Well the weekend ended quite nice, got the welding on the disco all completed, apart from welding the floor cross members in place, but there is a method to the madness. Next thought need to put new flex on rear axle, so need to put new union on the copper pipes, couldn't find the bloody brake pipe flaring tool. Looked in tool boxes/cabinets/cupboards/ and kitchen (don't ask). No sign of the bugger anywhere. Has a sulk. Still can't find it and no one I know who has one is in. Gives up in disgust.

Bugger it, I'll put the new air filter in instead. Opens box to find a very large rodent has eaten the bloody thing, stomps round garden in fitful bad temper. Gets a mate to lend me one, opens bonnet and low and behold the brake pipe flaring tool is on the inner wing - WTF is it doing there, have the sock pixies been having a party or what?

Never mind air filter fitted. Retires to back of car to put new union on the brake pipe, no problem, except now the FFing copper pipe is two bloody inches too short (I swear to God the bugger has shrunk cos prior to this it was a good six inches too long.) . BUGGER.

Splices in some more pipe. Job done happy bunny. Thinks , well lets put the exhaust back on (been welding and it was in the way) so out with the new rubbers and they go on perfect (now that should have set the alarm bells ringing....) . Thinks mmmmm better fire it up to check for leaks. Two hours later and I've found the keys.... But the batteries flat. Attaches jump box and notice what seems to be rat sh!t on the dashboard, curiouser and curiouser....

Turns key in ignition then fcuk me there's a blinding flash and most the electricity escapes as blue smoke, very closely followed by the biggest bloody rat I've ever seen, wretched rodent has eaten/chewed,generally buggered most of the dash and steering column wiring over the holidays

Now got a rewire to do. AHHHHHHHHHHH

Rant over.

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Most disappointing Jeff - not one mention of personal injury or tool aviation!

Now get back out there and do it properly! Don't come back in until you are at least a pint or two short of a full quota!

What with Nige not hurting himself and you going all sensible this forum has become quite dull......

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The offending rodent is now an ex-rodent which died of lead poisoning, 14.8 grains of lead at 600fps is pretty terminal, neighbours now think I have completely lost the plot, and the MOT has been put back at least 3 weeks.

As I will hit the ripe old age of 52 next month, I was forced to promise the nice man in A&E, Hexham that I would refrain from damaging myself for a wee while, besides, my cheek bone still gives me gip, my bloody glasses don't fit and the missing teeth make chewing difficult....

Need to fully recover before I do anymore damage or the wife will divorce me and, the way my luck goes, I'd end up with custody of the kids......

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Damage ain't as bad as I thought, mainly bits of stripped isolation and only a couple of parted wires behind the fuse box (how the bloody hell such a large rodent fitted into such a small gap...) and instrument panel (even got a spare sub loom for that). Have plenty of shrink tube and a soldering iron. Mental note to oneself, buy some rat traps.

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Was just thinking I needed to read something entertaining. Your posts always fit the bill perfectly Jeff, :lol:

Cheeky darned rodent, shame it didn't get fried when the electricity escaped! Although I'm sure you got a bigger kick out of this style of ending.

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Funny thing is I keep rats as pets! Had an agreement with the compost bin rodents, if they stayed out of the garage, they got to live a natural lifespan. Mind you the one I shot looked very similar to Tiberius (one of the pets), so I have a wee pang of guilt.

If the bugger had fried itself, the way my luck is going it would have caught fire and torched the car....

To top it all, just had a phone call from a transport company telling me that the quote they gave me to fetch another one of my landrovers up from Devon was incorrect and should be in the region of £600 rather than £300. Life can be a real bitch...

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Jeff

Firstly, if Kirsten were to leave you she would have done so years back - you've mellowed a lot in the 13 years I've known you. Remember the fun we had when we tried to ressurect the Skoda?

Secondly, you should have said that you needed a transport company rather than a highway man. I'll sort one for you.

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