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Its not exactly a HFH but you might like to know.....

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Agony, sheer F agony.....

Saturday, 'ricked' me back a tad, one of those "Ooooo Ahhhh F ******* B*gger" type ricks, used to it as have a bad back as have had now 2 spine ops, it will never be ok, but all in all I just live with it, I can struggle and drag a gearbox from floor to bench, but now and again it can go when doing something really "Nothingness", this was lifting some paer off the floor...........

Not the end of the world, decided to put up with the pain, had to drive back from Colchester (220 Miles) in increasing agony after being with me mum after sprinkling me dads ashes :(

Sunday, doing a walking impression between John Merrick and Quasimodo after 10 pints, neighbour called me a "Spas Retard" then ran away laughing ......till I got him with a spanner on the shin :) .....had a large skinfull of beer .....and some co dydromols, slept badly .....as everytime I moved I yelped....

Monday (today) woke up, wondered if pain was still there - moved, just everso slightly ARGGHHHHHHH :lol: "thats a Yes"

Got out of bed sorry, did the flick back quilt and get out of bed like I have had my spine fused with superglue and have a 'duck caller' rammed down my troat the "HA AH AH ahhhah ah ah eee eee ee Oooo Oooo Ah A AH" and assocaited noises, find myself now out of bed but on floor face down and grumbling and still grunting and wincing with pain, walk up the wall, still make noises with interspersments of "F Off and stop laughing " to SWMBO who says, "Shall I run you a bath ? .....as your taking so long shall I just put hot water in .........so that when you have finally got to the bathroom its still warm :lol: " ....HAHAHA F HA yes very funny.

Some considerable time later get to B*G, and afterwards marvel how back is so bad neither arm / hand will complete the required Loo time "Andrex wipe" (poss too much info)

Phone Osteo,

"Can you get here ?"

"Kin yes on my way"

Helped into car like a 90 year old whose swallowed 1 ton of viagra - everything is stiff, get to osteos, .....ring door bell.

He appears and laughs at me, "Hmmm Bad then Nige ?"

The clue was me still on all fours at the outside door.

"Thank you so much Martin, ......just FFS get me back in"

.......Walk like a doggie into room........

"Jump on the couch theres a good boy"

" F Off Martin - I'm paying you money to sort my back out ....not take the P*ss ....ta everso"

Had the 4x half tennis balls suckered onto my back then plugged me into the mains and gently electrocuted, along with a Massage = sorry elbows driven into flesh with all his force...Horrendous but lovely when it stops.....plays tunes with the spine cracks and crunches and neck twiested around like R2D2.....

20 mins later I am almost human again, but T3 or something will not go in.

He goes and gets his "Mate"

Andrew is about 19 stone and about 6ft 4 'Big F-er' as bathtub would say....

He has a go, as does Martin, loads of huffs puffs and grunts, shreks from me and the occasional

"FFS No hold on ......just let me get me breathe.... - Nooooooo .....Argggghh you F ers !"

The phone rang in the room............

Martin answered it and then came back over

"That was reception - they say that every worrd scream and grunt can be heard in the waiting room, can you please keep the noise down ?"

"Oh I'm sorry you want me to die in agony quietly then do you ?"

Anyway my 45 mins was running out they went for 'plan G'.......

This was Andrew Grabbing me under the armpits and lifting me clear off the floor, Martin then slid in up between us and shoved his arm / pillow and shoulder into position, it was then the

"Breathe in , breathe out and "

"FerU************************************King hell OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

The wall ....we (3 of us up against) moved, ......back did not go in....

"Breathe in , .....breathe out ......and....."

"Aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh ........Nooooooooooooooooooooo .........FFS"

"...and rest and Breathe in , .....breathe out and........ " Noooo Noooo I'm not ready .....

Aggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ......Jeez..... nOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :huh:

The phone rings...........

Leave it says Martin, ................

"Breathe in , breathe out and "................

"Show us yours hands you perverts" I said, ..................

They both started laughing hard, I joined in and then they both wrenched me and I was released........

"Joy" sheer Joy, ...........its in...............

I WALKED out of the Osetos, Paid my £35 for the "2 falls and a submission" as I put it

The People in the waiting room gave me some serious odd looks as I walked through..... :lol:

Back tommorrow for a final "Work Over" but told mates at work as was Late in and thought it funy, so thought I'd share it with you

LR Content - NONE BIT like the weekend :angry: ........


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I did pretty much the same thing, but got carted off to hospital on my hands and knees - blue lights, but less than 10mph. I was in hospital for 10-days, totally oblivious to anything at all on a morphine pump. They removed a disc out of my back as it had burst and was squashing my spinal cord. The pain was in my left leg though, and one side of it is still numb, and probably always will be from the nerve damage. It took lots of hydro and Physiotherapy to get me ok again 18-months of it and bringing up my two children on my own. It's ok now though, I have to watch it when it comes to lifting and bending, but that's all.

Les. :)

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Feel for you Nige - I have a cold pack on my neck right now as I have trapped a nerve again and have pain down my arm 24 hours a day.

It's not that bad after the first week, you kind of get used to it and know it will go eventually. Not as bad as the last one which meant I couldn't feel my fingers, couldn't move my arm and had muscle spasms down my right side for a week.

F**k me, I nearly went the doctor :)

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Saturday, 'ricked' me back a tad, one of those "Ooooo Ahhhh F ******* B*gger" type ricks, used to it as have a bad back as have had now 2 spine ops, it will never be ok, but all in all I just live with it, I can struggle and drag a gearbox from floor to bench, but now and again it can go when doing something really "Nothingness", this was lifting some paper off the floor...........

if you have a back condition, why are you attempting to lift gearboxes, yer daft nellie! :lol:

get one of these:

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