Steve King
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Posts posted by Steve King
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Not LR Related, but Defender owners may relate to the ripping sequence near the start of this clip (my wife & I have matching his'n'hers rips in our jeans!).
This guy has got to be one of the most incompetent fishermen and bungling boatmen ever!
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SpinalTapRacing.co.uk aren't they somewhere near Stonehenge?
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I think a saw a Defender rear wiper motor on e-bay the other day.
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How about "Why" by Annie Lennox?
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I don't like Japanese trucks as they look brash and bling. Not overly impressed by the ride either in most cases.
The green oval has more character.
Got to admire the Japs for their reliability though, this Toyota just goes on and Ariston
Not dialup friendly!!
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2) Don't lick frozen lamp posts.
Don't lick frozen lamp posts?
Erm why would would you want to lick them in the first place? Dogs pee on them! Getting your lips stuck on a frozen door lock is understandable however!
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Bird related, but not bird flu related!
Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my bedroom?".
The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".
Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family ....you've got to send me back straight away".
St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad" replies Brian, "but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".
"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid an egg before".
"Never" replies Brian
"Well just relax and let it happen"
And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever happened to him...ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken b@$*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"
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I'm currently with Admiral, but I'm going to get a quote from Liverpool Victoria when the policy comes up for renewal in April as they saved me around £170 on my household contents (just hope that they don't have problems with it being a Land Rover and a hard top to boot!)
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Last year on the way home from Ikea (loaded up with flatpacks!) I was about ½ mile from home and in the one-way system at the start of York Way. The outside lane peels off to the right and heads towards Tufnell Park/Archway and the inside lane goes straight on towards Kings Cross.
I was in the inside lane minding my own business when suddenly there was a whole load of beeping and hand signals. The (woman) driver in the outside lane obviously wanted to change lanes and lacked the savvy to either accelerate and slot in front of me or slow down and drop in behind me!
The driver clearly expected me to disappear up my own ar$e!
I laughed, and returned a few hand signals of my own that questioned the driver's sanity! The woman finally got the idea of joining the inside lane behind me and started tailgating me. When I stopped at a zebra crossing the driver got out and started walking towards me with murder in her eyes. Roadrage! I was able to pull away just before she reached the driver's door and she was left standing in the road looking rather foolish!!
I have nothing against women drivers by the way!! (except that one!)
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I've been with the RAC for around 20 years.
Can't complain on the whole - the last time I called on their services was when the clutch master cylinder went bang in the middle of a one-way system in the rush hour. They didn't mess around, a flat bed was with me in no time.
I was also given a jump start in the middle of a forest when I flattened my battery by leaving the 12v cooler plugged in all night! (that meant a long trek lugging a slave battery!)
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Thanks for that. Just sent my V5 off for correction!
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Where were they parked on the street, in a carpark, on a driveway?
there could be legal implications for them doing this!!! plus if the did it to mine I keep the wheel clamp and sell it back to them.................
They were all parked in the street, but as I said the wheel clamps are imitation. The "clamps" are made of yellow cardboard and are held onto the wheel with a couple of laccy bands. The "clamps" gave the usual anti 4 x 4 slogans. I haven't seen imitation clamps until now, and I rushed home to get my camera, but by the time I returned the owners had removed the "clamps" and posters.
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I notice commercial vehicles (which are big and guzzle gas) aren't targetted, so presumably if you drive a Landy with no rear windows or a Disco/Freebie commercial you're a good person, but if it's got windows you're the spawn of satan.
I reckon you are correct.
Greenpeace have been active around here and sticking their "Public Aware - this gas guzzling 4 x 4 ......" leaflets and imitation wheelclamps on all the 4 x 4s around here. A Range Rover, couple of Discos, 2 Freebies, a J33p, Merc and Volvo all got targetted the same night. The only 4 x 4 to escape the treatment was my Defender and guess what - its a hardtop!
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Of course guess what caused it - yes you've guessed it a computer error!!!!!
I suppose some programmer is gonna get it in the neck. I guess that Greenpeace have had DD in place for a while which makes me wonder what they were changing and why. It just goes to show the importance of running a test or two before going live!
Even if they were pushed for time and ran the DD routine without testing it, the output file can be viewed before sending it off to the bank. Errors like demanding 100 times more than usual should be fairly obvious!
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A jump start/compressor thingy and the first 2 Little Britain series on dvd (computer says "No"). Loadsa toiletries, socks, shirt and an interesting set of cats butts fridge magnets (wtf?!)
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This e-mail is doing the rounds and might amuse you.
Dear All,
My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me e-mails over the past 12 months.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and wealthy.
Thank you all the Generals' daughters. bank officials and widows in Nigeria and Burkino-Faso who have invited me to share in their $35 million inheritances, safe deposit boxes and the like - one day I'm sure the cash will arrive in my bank.
Thanks also to those who have placed winning international lottery tickets for me, without my knowledge. So far I've won £65 billion.
Thanks to the manufacturers and suppliers of Viagra and all their cut price offers. - So nice of them to think of me.
Thank you for the 12,000 magnificent offers for obtaining a fake Rolex.
Thank you for the 1200 offers for instant qualifications from various American Universities ranging from a PHD downwards. (No study required.)
Thank you to all of the casinos that generously offer me free money to start gambling. How nice they are.
Thank you for the 846 offers of pre-approved mortgages.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer worry about my soul because at the last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.
Thanks to you, I have learnt that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all - but that will all change once I receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next seven minutes, a large pigeon with a terrible case of upset stomach will land on your head at 5pm (GMT) this afternoon.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
Kind regards
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My 110 only just scrapes under the height restrictor at the local tip - I always let the tyres down a bit before going there!
The daft thing is though that the local tip has a pedestrian drop off point as well, so you can always park round the corner and wheel the junk the last few hundred yards to the tip in a barrow!
What else can you expect from loony Islington Council! -
Seeing as this seems to be the current joke thread....
Tony Blair is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury and greets one.
The patient replies"
“Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o’ the pudding race,
Aboon them o’ you take your place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm.”
Blair is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient.
The patient responds:
“ Some hae meat and canna eat,
And some wad eat that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
So let the Lord be thankit.”
Even more confused, and his grin now rictus-like, the PM moves on to the next patient, who immediately begins to chant:
"We sleekit, cowerin, timorous beastie,
Thou needna start awa sae hastie,
Wi bickerin brattle.”
Now seriously troubled, Blair turns to the accompanying doctor and asks “What kind of facility is this? A mental ward”
“No”, replies the doctor.
“This is the serious Burns unit.”
I'll get me sporran!
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Sounds familiar! My brother moved house back in January and I helped him take a load of junk to the local tip.
As my Defender is a hard top the jobsworths initally told me that as it didn't have any seats in the back it was a van and therefore the waste would be classified as commercial. However I have a full length cushion on one of the wheelboxes that makes a handy (illegal!) bench seat. When I showed the jobsworths the bench seat they grudgingly let me in!
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I bust one phone on the way to Wales last year to meet up with with you Fi. It is not a good idea to put a mobile in the outside leg pocket of a pair of cargo pants. Defender door panels tend to make a bit of a mess of the screen!!
Cathy managed to drown a mobile in her rucksack during the infamous walk with Jules the Rambler. We tried drying it over the the heater vent and all the usual tricks to no avail!
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The current regs for window tinting are:-
Front Windscreen: 25% (they must let 75% light through)
Front Door Windows (i.e drivers and passengers): 30% (70% light must get through)
All other windows – No restriction
I'll get me anorak!
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Do you really mean the Third Meeting?
Errm no, I meant Monday!
I was eating my lunch at the time and I'm obviously not cut out for multi-tasking!
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I've finally gone and done it!
The meetings are on the 3rd MONDAY of each month at 8pm. The first meeting is on 19 December, if you're in the area drop the Christmas shopping and come along!
The Calthorpe Arms
252 Grays Inn Road
London
WC1X 8JR
Food and a good range of Youngs beer is available (mine's a Ramrod and Special!)
Steve
Erm why would would you want to lick them in the first place? Dogs pee on them! 
Cooling system leak fixing products
in International Forum
Posted
"Egg white, porridge oats, mustard powder, black pudding skin???" Are you trying to fix a rad leak or get a mention in Egon Ronay?!!
