Myroverdontturnover

Hello, I recently bought a 2000 D2, reminiscing about my d1 that left me stranded and so its really an R2D2. Any how all jokes aside, I bought it and it didn't run so I changed the starter and wired a butt ton to by pass the interrupter at the ignition switch ( the same was done on the d1, not my first rodeo) I had issues getting the trunk door open on both too and forgot what i did to get it open but by pure magic one day while trying all the tricks and trade secrets by experts in the field of car thieves (such as trying to reach the original cast and crew of gone in sixty seconds per se) drinking lots of beer and going at her again one day the land rover gods came down from the heavens and the back door opened just long enough to spray down the mold then re-locking again with all my tools and cleaning product to sit in the back to suffer separation anxiety because now I cant drive it, i cant clean it and now i cant even get in it. The drivers side window is open just enough to allow me to get a special made tool (a machete with a broken handle taped to a thin metal brace used to stabilize my metal shelving unit) so i can "tap" the center of the dashboard button and "unlock the door as if i were sitting in it, though then the battery seems dead so I easily removed the grill and cut away the plastic bezel with a rotozip opened the hood and disconnected the battery and charged it, reconnected it and used ye ole special tool and gave it the "quick tap" (my new term for my new process with my invented tool) to no avail. What to do here? Buy a couple of them online for cheap because they don't run either just for parts? Help help this rover is trying to bend me over for the dealership, help