jules Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 As seen in a dogs diary: > 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! > 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! > 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! > Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! > 2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! > 3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! > 4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! > 6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite! > 7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite! > 8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! > 9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My Favorite! > 11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My > Favorite! > > As seen in a cat's diary: > > Day 1183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to > taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They > dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat > dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the > hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get > from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat > another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my > captors by weaving around their feet while they were > walking- almost succeeded - must try this at the top > of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse > these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to > vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try > this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought > them the headless body in an attempt to make them > aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike > fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended > about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not > work according to plan... There was some sort of > gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in > solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear > the noise and smell the food. More important, I > overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of > inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and > how I may use It to my advantage. I am convinced the > other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The > dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to > return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the > other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with > them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. > Due to his current placement in the metal room, his > safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait, it > is only a matter of time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DefcoL Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Just purrfect it made me Roar whilst scratching my whiskers..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
western Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 A good cat & dog story Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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