jules Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 As seen in a dogs diary: > 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! > 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! > 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! > Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! > 2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! > 3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! > 4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! > 6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite! > 7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite! > 8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! > 9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My Favorite! > 11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My > Favorite! > > As seen in a cat's diary: > > Day 1183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to > taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They > dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat > dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the > hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get > from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat > another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my > captors by weaving around their feet while they were > walking- almost succeeded - must try this at the top > of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse > these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to > vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try > this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought > them the headless body in an attempt to make them > aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike > fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended > about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not > work according to plan... There was some sort of > gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in > solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear > the noise and smell the food. More important, I > overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of > inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and > how I may use It to my advantage. I am convinced the > other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The > dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to > return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the > other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with > them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. > Due to his current placement in the metal room, his > safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait, it > is only a matter of time... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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