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O/T I'm a Dog man myself


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As seen in a dogs diary:

> 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!

> 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

> 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

> Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!

> 2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!

> 3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!

> 4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!

> 6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!

> 7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!

> 8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!

> 9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My Favorite!

> 11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My

> Favorite!


> As seen in a cat's diary:


> Day 1183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to

> taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They

> dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat

> dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the

> hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction that I get

> from clawing their furniture. Tomorrow I will eat

> another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my

> captors by weaving around their feet while they were

> walking- almost succeeded - must try this at the top

> of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse

> these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to

> vomit on their favorite chair. I must remember to try

> this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought

> them the headless body in an attempt to make them

> aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike

> fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended

> about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, that did not

> work according to plan... There was some sort of

> gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in

> solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear

> the noise and smell the food. More important, I

> overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of

> inducing "allergies." I must learn what this is and

> how I may use It to my advantage. I am convinced the

> other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The

> dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to

> return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the

> other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with

> them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.

> Due to his current placement in the metal room, his

> safety is assured. But I have patience, I can wait, it

> is only a matter of time...

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