tin/plastic scam at vw exposed

[MarkieB]

during an impromptu 'thinking distance/braking distance test' in the recent past, it was conclusively shown that the entire front of a modern volkswagen van, the kind with the big mean-looking radiator badge, is in fact made of cheese, as a standard ball hitch made a mash of the plastic bumper, while a spare carrier made a pig's ear of the bonnet. Most surprisingly, all the area around the grille was plastic too, to the evident dismay of the vw driver :D

I'm pleased to think that as the vw had only recently emerged, hooting, from a driveway, whereto it retreated in a pool of coolant fluid, I may have saved several pedestrians/drivers of smaller cars from being menaced by its aggressiveness.

I think my spare wheel may now be leaning back a few degrees [the carrier-to-body/chassis mountings unaffected], while there's a 3mm depression in the safari door from the spare carrier's bump stop. The vw driver was bewailing a 'whole new front' that may have been, typically, an overstatement, as I said

So how say we replace post counts with 'german-vehicle-smasher' counts, similar to kills for flying aces

I know Miss whiplash is among the rankings too — a Beemer, no less! I did feel vague pangs in my neck/back at one stage .. — no, I couldn't, that wouldn't be honest of me

one very satisfying noise was a crunching sound, as, after the vehicles had both stopped, stuck together, I moved forward to the side of the road; my towball had stuck into the vw's bumper, pulling it apart as I moved forward B)

the incredulous comments [in French, naturally, although I'll translate:] 'no damage at all' — 'what, you're sure?' — 'absolutely nothing at all!' could be a sign of Land Rover sales picking up

[Ant]

Hee hee, nice one. Maybe we should paint 'kill' marks under the driver's window like on fighter planes?

[John_T]

My tow hitch and spare wheel recently did a satisfying £3,000 worth of nonsense to the front of a Lexus a few weeks ago (driver equally satisfyingly sick as a aprrot)...but do Jap cars count?

[Ben Reedy]

Our V8 Disco (now sadly sold as it became increasingly unreliable) was rear-ended by a Mercedes saloon in Lagos recently. The damage? A hole punched through the skin of the rear door just below the spere wheel, plus some slight distortion to the rear bumper.

And the Mercedes? Flattened right back to the engine. I didn't see it but from the location of the hole I'd say it was something solid on the front of the engine like the water pump that made the hole.

The driver did well to pay off the constable who attended as the four heavy gents in the Merc were well on the way to getting our driver blamed and our car confiscated.

[Les Henson]

A hole punched through the skin of the rear door just below the spere wheel,

Aaah, son of catflap

Les.

[geoffbeaumont]

Aaah, son of catflap

Les.

Never realised you were a styling guru, Les

[geoffbeaumont]

My tow hitch and spare wheel recently did a satisfying £3,000 worth of nonsense to the front of a Lexus a few weeks ago (driver equally satisfyingly sick as a aprrot)...but do Jap cars count?

You don't need a Land Rover or a tow hitch to take on some cars. My one and only mishap at the wheel was a few years ago when I back my little Skoda Felicia into a brand new BMW series 3 in the company car park. £1150 worth of damage to the beemer (new wing, wheel arch and front bumper). The Skoda had a score in the bumper where the beemers wing had folded into it.

And the collosal speed behind this demolition derby? I'd guess about 1mph! I just slid the end of the bumpers past each other...

Mind, that skoda was a tough little car - previous to that incident someone smashed their corsa van up quite well on the back of it. That was another nick in the bumper

[geoffbeaumont]

The driver did well to pay off the constable who attended as the four heavy gents in the Merc were well on the way to getting our driver blamed and our car confiscated.

My dad managed quite a good one in Glasgow some years ago. Dad ran the local scout troup and the police had been in to do a talk and had left some recruiting brochures, so he chucked one on the parcels shelf to put off car theives while he was down there on business. He had Volvo 440 with towbar on the back, and while he was stopped waiting to turn right an old Fiesta came cruising down the road and straight into the back of him. There was no damage to the Volvo but the towbar punched straight through the Fiestas radiator. Anyway, this huge gorilla unfolded himself from the Fiesta and headed for Dad, very obviously planning to give him a good thumping - then spotted the police brochures and suddenly turned very nice...