On Ian's subject of Diets, one I saw elsewhere, well I thought it was funny !!!
The ultimate weightloss programme
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss
program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before
him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but
a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She
introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.
The sign reads: "If you can catch me, you can have me."
Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later,
huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with
her. The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same
thing happens. On the fifth
day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lb.
As promised.
He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.
The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most
stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life. She is
wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck
that reads: "If you catch me you can have me."
Well, he's out the door after her like a shot! This girl is in
excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he
does, it's definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for
the next four days, the same routine happens. Much to his delight,
on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost
another 20 lb. as promised.
He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the
7-day/50 pound program.
"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone - "This is our
most rigorous program." "Absolutely," he replies," I haven't felt
this good in years."
The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he
finds this huge, muscular, 7ft man standing there, wearing nothing
but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read: "I'm
Dave. If I catch you, you're mine..."