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The land rover mechanic


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At a local land rover dealership a mechanic was removing the cylinder head from a Td5 Discovery when he spotted a well known heart surgeon in reception. The surgeon was waiting for the servive manager to have a look at his Range Rover when the mechanic shouted across the garage "hello doc, can i ask you a question"

The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked across the garage to where the mechanic was working. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on his overalls and asked, "so doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair and restore any damage, and put them all back in, when i've finished it works again like new. So, why is it that i get such a small salary and you get such a large one when we are doing the same job."

The surgeon paused, smiled, leaned over and whispered to the mechanic

"try doing it with the engine running"


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Not so sure whether 'doing it with the engine running' is an accurate simile though. More akin to driving the car very carefully onto a [moving?] lorry [life support system/heart pump] that is then driven very carefully by an anaesthetist, while being given all the special tools + spare parts that could possibly be necessary, then being given a very limited time to complete the task, in the moving lorry. As you say though, Jim, no room for failing to properly torque up every bolt afterwards!

doing it with the engine running is closer to local anaesthetic-type operations, such as changing a spring.

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Here is another non specific mechanic joke :D

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and was

on the verge of being burned out. Hoping to try another career where

skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to change careers and

become a mechanic.

He found out from the local technical college what was involved,

signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all

he could.

When the time for the practical exam approached, the gynecologist

prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with

tremendousskill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find

that he had obtained a score of 150%.

Fearing an error, he called the instructor, saying "I don't want to

appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wondered if

there had been an error which needed adjusting."

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart

perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the

engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of

the mark."

The instructor went on to say," I gave you an extra 50% because you

did all of it through the muffler."

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