Les Henson Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Working out the front today on that naughty P38 (look in the Rangy forum for my rant). Even with my head buried under the bonnet I knew something was wrong - the air felt different, birds stopped singing, a chill ran up my spine followed by the sudden terrifying realisation that THE GOD BOTHERERS were here! Caught out in the open, nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, my fate was almost sealed - an hour of lecturing about the ills of humanity, failure of the family unit, no more love in the world (tell that to the ex), the only way forward, to save humanity, and to bring back those values that have nothing to do with the latest offer from Tesco's, was to become a JEHOVAS WITNESS! Gingerly (no, not the Mark90 type of ginger), I looked up and sensing that they were behind me, I looked down the street - sure enough, a 'flock' of them had just decamped from an environmentally friendly MPV, had huddled in 'plan of attack' group behind a Escort van:- No escape now - they rapidly spread out in the 'prayer' movement, within seconds they're moving in from all directions. Not the two Yoofs at the front, but the four behind, have taken a flanking attack, have crossed the road, and using the natural cover of the poorly maintained privet hedge, have managed to get within praying distance. [Chief God botherer] "Ok faithful ones - take an attacking stance further down the road outside the chippy, conceal yourself behind a skip and wait for the Lord to contact you. Meanwhile I see a sinner working on a motor vehicle that's potentially destroying Gods Earth, I'll try to bore him to death". "ok, our plan of attack has so far been successful, we are over the road and ready to preach, you move across the road and come at him from the south, while we saunter back down the road a short way, cross over, and block any escape from the north by loud prayers, and poor taste in clothes". Off go 'Gabriels' team in an attempt to convert me to the ways of the Lord. Fortunately I'm well practised in avoidance of the exalted one, and bugger off indoors until they clear off. One did manage to come up and speak to me, and he knew about the Sortout, which I have to admit was quite scary. Les. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RocKeR Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Fabulous, Les. A lesson to us all. I imagine that the quick retreat was well bolstered by the full front attack with the camera! Talking of lessons, have you read the New Testament recently....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hillbilly Raider Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 THANKYOU Les! i havent laughed soo much in ages!!! Reminds me of when the kids were little....... One Sunday afternoon was watching the telly and minding my own business when Stringy comes running into the lounge saying "quick hide the Jovies are coming" Young daughter was upstairs playing in her bedroom, we hide in the kitchen. Jovies knock at the front door.. we ignore and wait for them to go away. Knock on front door comes again followed by noise of bedroom window opening and young daugther shouting out of said window.... "Mummy and Daddy are hiding in the kitchen"!!!!! kids WHO;D HAVE THEM???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
minivin Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 They need to learn from the Zulu's Don't preach, until you can see the white's of their eye's Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Highway_Star Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Les, might I suggest you obtain a recording of 'Festival of Life' by Kevin Bloody Wilson, you might appreciate it's sentiments... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edwardatherton Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 I should set my Dad on you for talking like that Les!! Anyway, I hope you weren't charging the cutomer labour time while you were taking these pictures...? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest diesel_jim Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Les, you should have sent them around bird brain's house... he could do with some elightenment! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happyoldgit Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Struth they're a bit casual looking, the ones we get around here are always dressed in black and invariably have an American accent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muckshifta Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 Dont get bothered by the jovies now one sunday I was getting a pheasant ready for the oven, doorbell goes and without thinking toddles off to the front door dead pheasant in hand , the look on their faces was brilliant especially when I said youve just interrupted my scarifice to satan . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ajlorton Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 http://www.virob.com/virob/videos/652.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nathan Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Hey Les I am a Jehovahs Witness (for real) and I found your account very very funny. I also drive a Disco and a people carrier but prefer the disco. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Les Henson Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 Thanks nathan. Gotta respect those guys, they get some ribbing, but still try. Les. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nathan Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Thanks nathan. Gotta respect those guys, they get some ribbing, but still try.Les. Gotta be a good reason why we keep trying Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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