snailracer

Never try to separate frozen sausages using a six inch knife. Four hours in casualty and stitches on both sides of my hand testify to that one. matt

I particularly like the idea of a 15,000mph cow that cooks as it travels by way of its air resistance. Brilliant Matt

Lets hope the haynes sex manual is clearer. Gently: Do that again and I'm leaving! etc Matt

Fair point. Its just that being a student, whenever anyone says the word 'cheap' I have this uncontrollable reaction. Not easy running a series 3 on a student loan! Matt

Received an email with this link: Pipeline Register and get a card for cheap fuel! If they get enough people to register. What does everyone think? Matt

They wouldn't look right in a 101, and you've got those lovely heated ones in the td5, that when you turn them on you feel like you need a carp! Matt

Mine's a CL as well. Took us a while to work out what it was. Can't find the military number right now in my well organised student bedroom. Not done an awful lot to the old girl. Chassis is solid but the bulkhead's on its way out. Got some defender seats for a bit of comfort. And I did have to swap the engine after overheating the old one! When I bought her I was really looking for a short wheelbase but the extra inches have been very useful and I think 109s just look right. Matt

Threw my Nokia 3210 at a wall after a conversation with my brother! Picked all of the bits up sellotaped it back together and it worked for a good couple of months til I replaced it. Also done the driving off with it sat on the wing but it bounced nicely. Matt

the second photo 'and you laughed at me because I came out in just my swimming trunks. your jeans don't look so clever now!' matt

Probly was him. His memory isn't what it used to be. Which reminds me - where's my birthday present? Matt

We had great fun trying to fit an Outback roof console into a 90 after billing. Said 90 has a roll cage that conveniently has one bar running across where the back part of the roof console fits (roughly in line with with the back of the drop down tray). Much swearing and a paddy or two eventually resulted in the console fitting (we cut a lot of plastic out). Unfortunately don't have any pics but if Bos is reading this he can post them up, its his 90. matt

The first knock i opened the door and politely told a group of young girls I had nothing, so they left. Was wondering where the parents were as they looked about 10-11 and were wandering about Sheffield in the dark. Half an Hour later i heard fireworks which sounded a bit close. looked out of the window to see four lads (of about 14) setting off all sorts of miniature explosives quite close to the land rover. was slightly worried one would get thrown in through the canvas so I made myself visible in the window. they noticed and i was politely asked 'wot u lookin a'. gave them my hardest teacher stare until they disappeared from view. After that i decided to batten down the hatches. made it look like no one was in and not answer the door. Its really not right being a grown man and actually afraid to open the door to kids. Theyre not that bad in school! Matt

As part of my teaching course I was given some case studies of accidents and incidents in school science labs. My Favourite is this one: A teacher was demonstrating the high voltage transmission line as follows. An ac power supply, set at about 14 V, was connected to a step-up transformer, resulting in an output of about 240 V. This supply was connected by crocodile clips to bare parallel wires held along the length of a metre rule. at the other end of the wires was a step down transformer and suitable lamp. The teacher wanted to show the effect of varying the length of wire on the brightness of the bulb. She took hold of both crocodile clips, forgetting they were live at about mains voltage. She was unable to let go.....

Good point. I need an MOT, which will probably require some minor work to pass. Fairly easy at home with the local man but not so easy 200 miles from home. Matt

Does anybody know of a good mechanic/garage in or around sheffield? Being a student up north its hard to know where to take the beloved series 3. Its great fun driving (terrorising) in a city. shame the grand plan of attracting students of the female variety hasn't paid off yet. I cant see the problem with climbing into the passenger seat in a short skirt! Anyway. Much appreciate any suggestions (on both mechanics or female students, or both. now that would be a result). Matt

More than one speed for the wipers and de mist would be nice!

The global warming issue is one i'm having to think about carefully at the moment. I'm a trainee secondary school science teacher and drive a series 3. The fact is there are no such things as facts, just the most commonly held, likeliest point of view (research and data are still interpreted). Type global warming into google (or any generic search engine) and you get thousands of points of view ranging from the greenpeace view (humans are evil) to a measured view (its a natural process that has happened for millenia and we're just contributing) to global warming will cause the next ice age (cutting off the gulf stream. but at least it would snow at christmas). I think its very arrogant for anyone to assume it is us thats causing climate change, the world is a far stranger place than we realise. Remember that Newton had physics sussed until einstein (and others) came along. give it a couple of hundred years and some one else will come up with something. but thats only my point of view. The best thing to do is find out for yourself and form your own opinion, and let others have theirs. So i'll be sticking with the series 3. Bit of a rant but never mind. Snailracer