Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

[FridgeFreezer]

In case anyone thought Land Rovers were unique in their quirks, it seems even Ze Germans can exhibit "character":

A few things to know before stealing my 914

Quote

With the clutch pedal depressed, the engine should turn over fast enough to get things going. But first, you’ll need to press the gas pedal to the floor exactly four times. Not three. Not five. Four. The dual Webers don’t have chokes and you’ll be squirting fuel down the barrels with the accelerator pumps for the necessary priming regime. If you don’t do it right, the car won’t start before the battery gives up the ghost. Consider yourself forewarned.

Quote

The transmission is in the far back of the car, and the shift linkage’s main component is a football-field-long steel rod formed loosely in the shape of your lower intestine. Manipulating the gear shift lever will deliver vague suggestions to this rod, which, in turn, will tickle small parts deep within the dark bowels of the transaxle case. It is akin to hitting a bag of gears with a stick, hopefully finding one that works.

 

Honestly he could be talking about a LOT of vehicles around here

[JeffR]

I had, briefly, well very briefly,  a lightened (OK  so it was so rusty a lace curtain was more structurally rigid) Maxi like that...... Thieves used to leave tenners on the windscreen with notes saying "you poor bugger, buy something worth stealing"......

[jeremy996]

I have had a number of vehicles with "character", (more likely, an amazing ability to embarrass you in public).

The Morgan has a "fly-off handbrake" that confuses most casual drivers.

Back in the days I used to rally Imps, the stage car was stolen by two chancers who ran out of fuel on the M6 on the raised section by the Dunlop Building. Driving it like you stole it got the mpg down to around 10mpg, which with a 6 gallon tank gave a very limited range!

My Father used to drive my cast offs; he once borrowed one of my Imps to go to work and had a terrible time trying to get out of the close, (a hill up to the main road), as it would bog on take-off and stall. He got angry with it and dropped the clutch at about 5,500rpm, so it shot up the close like a greased pig and he barely stopped it at the T junction at the top. On the way back from work, he got stopped for doing 90 in a 70 and was let off with a talking too when he explained it was not his usual car and he could barely see the speedo! (He was taller than I am, so could only just fit in the fixed bucket seat).

The LR110's ability to cause trouble was well documented on this forum - France 2019

 

[smallfry]

A good customer of mine back in the Eighties had a Ferrari 308 with this "character". One day he said to me to take it up the road and try it. 

Horrid to drive. I was glad to be going home in the V8 series I had at the time !  

[Escape]

A few years ago I took a female colleague to a factory visit in my Esprit, which was my daily at the time. We got a lot of looks passing through the security gates and it did not go unnoticed by our other colleagues either (who had taken some boring company car). After the visit, I changed from safety boots to driving shoes, but the Esprit wouldn't start. Luckily I had a good idea of what the problem would be, so opened the boot, reattached the wire to the starter, tried to get my hands clean and then set off. We still made it back to the office before the others. 🙂 

Worse part is, when I gave that same colleague a lift to some after work training session, we again took the Esprit and again I needed to get under the hood for a minor fix. This time it was a vacuum hose that had come off, meaning the ECU didn't see the boost pressure and fueling was way off both at idle and under boost. Still driveable with just the right amount of right foot though, and we did make it there quicker then by train and bus (like we were supposed to do).

I miss that car... Really need to get it back on the road. At least I'm working on her sister now, which is almost done, so I can look forward to some extended test drives.

Filip

[FridgeFreezer]

3 hours ago, Escape said:

At least I'm working on her sister now

For a moment I thought you meant your colleague's sister, you sly fox

[JeffR]

On 7/20/2023 at 2:55 PM, jeremy996 said:

I have had a number of vehicles with "character", (more likely, an amazing ability to embarrass you in public).

The Morgan has a "fly-off handbrake" that confuses most casual drivers.

Back in the days I used to rally Imps, the stage car was stolen by two chancers who ran out of fuel on the M6 on the raised section by the Dunlop Building. Driving it like you stole it got the mpg down to around 10mpg, which with a 6 gallon tank gave a very limited range!

My Father used to drive my cast offs; he once borrowed one of my Imps to go to work and had a terrible time trying to get out of the close, (a hill up to the main road), as it would bog on take-off and stall. He got angry with it and dropped the clutch at about 5,500rpm, so it shot up the close like a greased pig and he barely stopped it at the T junction at the top. On the way back from work, he got stopped for doing 90 in a 70 and was let off with a talking too when he explained it was not his usual car and he could barely see the speedo! (He was taller than I am, so could only just fit in the fixed bucket seat).

The LR110's ability to cause trouble was well documented on this forum - France 2019

 

In my dim and distant youth I used to run an eight port 1558 mini , complete with comp clutch, lightened , beam axle, all the dogs dangly bits. My dad borrowed it to go to work. When he got home he complains that he couldn't get it to go faster than 70........ He'd been looking at the rev counter.

 

 

[jeremy996]

7000rpm on an A series must be close to destruction! The tuned Imps would run to 10,000rpm; they were not known as "Screamers" for nothing.

The rally Imps could be a menace sometimes; I had an intermittent plug issue once and unburnt fuel pooled in the exhaust until it ignited outside the Police station in Cannock, the sheet of flame scared my navigator and he was not looking out of the window. That got me stopped and invited to produce my documents at my local Police station within the next day or so. Thankfully all were in order, the desk officer was a keen club rallyist, (and kept beating me the next year).

[JeffR]

13 hours ago, jeremy996 said:

7000rpm on an A series must be close to destruction! The tuned Imps would run to 10,000rpm; they were not known as "Screamers" for nothing.

The rally Imps could be a menace sometimes; I had an intermittent plug issue once and unburnt fuel pooled in the exhaust until it ignited outside the Police station in Cannock, the sheet of flame scared my navigator and he was not looking out of the window. That got me stopped and invited to produce my documents at my local Police station within the next day or so. Thankfully all were in order, the desk officer was a keen club rallyist, (and kept beating me the next year).

ANL 940K used to redline at 8K, bugger reved like a sowing machine, a mate ran an imp engined  Davrian that redlined at 13k. my mini averaged 7mpg on a stage, 10-12 on a run. thank god it had twin tanks.

[Escape]

On 7/21/2023 at 12:21 PM, FridgeFreezer said:

For a moment I thought you meant your colleague's sister, you sly fox

She doesn't have a sister. 🙂 But she herself is a charming young lady and very pleasant on the eyes. There was a reason I was so eager to offer her a ride on several occasions!

[simonr]

On 7/20/2023 at 2:55 PM, jeremy996 said:

On the way back from work, he got stopped for doing 90 in a 70 and was let off with a talking too when he explained it was not his usual car and he could barely see the speedo!

I once got pulled over on the M25 for driving at 85mph in my Series 2 (down hill with a tail wind) - and the Police Officer had to let me off as my Speedo only went up to 70!

The fact that the needle was pointing at the oil light should have given me a clue!