pugwash Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Need some advice of a personal nature. I gre up in the Southwest, and have lived in Taunton for past 4 years.. Being a fairly solitary independant chap i've never had a "need" for freindship, and have always been content to made make slow, solid new relationships. Girlf moved down here about 2 years ago (we have lived together years), away from all her friends in Surrey. She commutes to Exeter every day where she does a Phd. Doing a doctorate is notoriously lonely, and she has only really met 3-4 people at University as she tends to commute home each day. She was saying the other day how nice it would be to find some friendse in Taunton, as she gest quite lonely (i have been known to work the odd long hour or two!). I have no idea how to do this! Usually i would suggest joining a club- but what? she doesn't have time for any particular interests, and she doesn't play any team sports unfortunately (i had suggested she start playing rugby, but it's really not her bag) although she does go to the gym alot, and used to be good at trampolining when she had time (a totally unsociable sport it would seem) So if you want to meet people who are 25-35 ish who might be similar in thinking and likes and very sociable what do you do? where do you go if you don't know anyone and don't work locally? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honitonhobbit Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Rambler Association? Buy her a proper car and take her to a Taunton Motor Club pub meet then leave quietly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freeagent Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 evening classes. when i was single and moved back home for a bit i did an english GCSE at evening classes, realy good laugh, most of the people doing it were 25-40, most doing it as they wanted to go on and do better things. they were a realy good crowd, we all went out for drinks/ dinner a few times and i'm sure if i hadn't moved back to kent from southend i'd still see some of them. when i finish Uni and get a job the first thing i'm going to do is sign up for another one, might do something a bit easier and creative this time... like pottery if you are the right type of person, and have something to offer, think about being a venture/ explorer scout leader, had some of the best times of my life as a scouty type (4x4 trip to Australia for example) the social life is what you want it to be, and you'll find that most of the other scouty types are a right laugh.... hope this helps. m@tt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Neale Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Jim, There are some websites you could direct her to... some really nice friendly people on them all wanting to be your best friend... ...and dress up in rubber Matt btw - give me a shout when you've got some free time - we've got to get moving on your S111.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honitonhobbit Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 I lived in Taunton when I was 30ish. I tended to go clubbing/Ferret and Ferkin, get bladdered if I couldn't pull (which was often) and then stagger home. Alternatively I used to go out with my mates from C42, try and pull, get bladdered and pick fights with locals/people from Yeovil Or I used to go out with the lads I played Rugby with, chase totty, get bladdered and buy a kibab... This is not much use to your charming young lady but it is nice to remember. Oh and I used to go out with the other NCO's from the TA, get bladdered, pull totty, wake up the next day in a starnge bed and regret still being alive... AND I used to go out with mates from the bike club, get tottied, try and pull a bladder then sleep with a kibab Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark90 Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Having met your t'other half Jim, the best thing I can suggest is that you give her my number and tell her to ring me if your working lates and she feeling lonely Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
western Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Join your local motor club & marshal on their events, you'll both meet loads of people Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matt Neale Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Having met your t'other half Jim, the best thing I can suggest is that you give her my number and tell her to ring me if your working lates and she feeling lonely {Harold Steptoe voice} "You Dirty old man...!" {/Harold Steptoe voice} Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Exmoor Beast Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 The 'pudding club' seems a good way for young ladies to meet new friends who are in a similar situation I will get my coat... For meeting new friends you really can't beat an all day session in the pub. You talk to absolutely anyone by the end of it. Will Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JST Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 Jim i am sure if you drop some cash our way the likes of Tim, myself and Tony would be happy to acknowledge we know you! the KIM and various other moutain marathon events tend to be quite good oppertunities as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
istruggle2gate11 Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 The 'pudding club' seems a good way for young ladies to meet new friends who are in a similar situation I will get my coat... True, so true! The Mrs and her "pudding club" mates cost me a fortune in coffee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RPR Posted May 2, 2006 Share Posted May 2, 2006 I strongly encourage you to get the sand bag to host a series of Ann Summers parties. She may not make many new friends......... but you might Seriously, as someone who has moved to two different countries in the past four years, and has moved to three others in the previous 10 years, making new friends, if you don't have children, is hard work and you have to stick at it. The fact that you recognize that it takes some doing and are looking for ways to go about it is half the battle. I take it you two are late 20's / early 30's? With kids, it's easy - you meet other parents through the kids and discard the ones you don't get on with. Otherwise, the best way is through things that interest you - nothing worse than trying to be social with people you have nothing in common with. Sports is one way. Golf for example was the way we met a lot of our friends in Dubai. Tennis etc. Social sports mostly or the local Hash (of the sporting rather than recreational chemistry variety) if you are so inclined. Other suggestions above make sense as well. The thing to keep in mind is that finding people you would like to socialize with and sticking with it takes work and is annoying and probably a little uncomfortable. As the newbies, you have to make the effort. Generally, once you have met some other couples that are of similarish ilk, the sand bags do all the maintenance work and scheduling so you just have to make time. The blokes will fall in at sport/hobby/pub in relatively quick order. That's my experience at least (says Larry no-mates).... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark90 Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 Have you considered swinging? Maybe Chris Watts can offer some advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBMUD Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 Having met your t'other half Jim, the best thing I can suggest is that you give her my number and tell her to ring me if your working lates and she feeling lonely I thought it was you offering that kind of friendship Mark. Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark90 Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I am, but I belive you have more experince in that field than I do, I'm just a willing novice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBMUD Posted May 3, 2006 Share Posted May 3, 2006 I am, but I belive you have more experince in that field than I do, I'm just a willing novice ROFL Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pugwash Posted May 4, 2006 Author Share Posted May 4, 2006 Thanks for the replies all, Mark90- might just take you up on that! save me the bother and that! Matt- where are these websites then- you seem to know alot about them . as to the stage 1 i am just working on getting it from the farm and onto the driveway, and then i was going to get in contact with you. James T- MARATHONS? are you crazy boy! freeagent- we are just looking at evening classes at the moment- one of the problems seem to be timing though- all the hobby type topics are early in the day, and all the "learning" type ones are later in the day- she can only day later classes as she has to be at work- but she already has 15 GCSEs, 4 A-levels and a degree or two! we are looking round for another source of places at the moment. I am afraid that i am ignoring all the motor related posts- she is bored enough of all of my off roading already! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TJ101 Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Jimi am sure if you drop some cash our way the likes of Tim, myself and Tony would be happy to acknowledge we know you! the KIM and various other moutain marathon events tend to be quite good oppertunities as well. Jim ??? Jim who ?? There's allways the Devon glass meet,,!! remember !! David's surgestion re Taunton Motor Club is good,,shall i send you some membership forms ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark90 Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 Mark90- might just take you up on that! save me the bother and that! Remind me to give you my number on saturday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JST Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Potentially - but they are good events Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gromit Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Having travelled about a bit I would agree with RPR. It's hard work making new friends when you've nowhere to start. Not living near where you work or study also isolates you as you don't see your class/work mates outside working hours. I've also found that a common interest/hobby is a great way to meet lots of people. I've been kayaking for 12 years, and everywhere I've been I've met people through paddling clubs, from France to California. Any friends that I haven't met through clubs have been people I've shared houses with. In fact I'm struggling to think of friends I haven't met through paddling,work or sharing. Having recently moved back to my home town I didn't know anyone, I was amazed to discover a club. The level of kayaking was pretty basic, but I didn't care. I joined up and apart from getting out every sunday, we've been on the beer most weekends, done some climbing and are planning trips abroad this summer. Of the 30 or so people I've met, there isn't one I don't get on with. I realise that your GF doesn't have a lot of time, but making new friends and finding a social scene you get on in is very hard work initially. You really do have to get out and push yourself to make an effort. Perhaps she needs to make some time for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astro_Al Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I agree completely with RPR and Gromit. I moved to France 3 years ago, kind of by surprise, and didn't know a single person, which can be an extra pain with a language barrier. Since then I have realised that you really do need to 'make an effort' and it won't just come to you - if you're not pro-active about it, you'll still be sat in your living room several years down the line waiting for the doorbell to randomly ring. I never let a chance to meet people slip past - even if I really don't feel like it or whatever, cos it could be months until the next one comes along. I joined an 'expat' social club thing where we go to poncy bars every week, which is kinda cool, but not really integrated with the locals, and ther's lots of really obvious 'social climbing' and stuff, but at least you see a lot of new places and I have made some genuinely good (British) friends through it - you just have to sort the wheat from the chaff as it were. Also, as has been said, clubs are great. I've done martial arts for 15 years, and I joined a club here (fortunately this is 100% Parisians - so some social integration is happening!). Despite an odd situation where I am a higher grade than the teacher it is working out well, and I have made some very good friends. Other than than, I met the odd barmaid and whatever, but it's basically work people (not many - most are older with families and live outside Paris) and club members. Its not easy, to be honest. I kind of wish I'd known at least one person here from the start, but the more you put in, the more you get out. At least your girlfriend speaks the same language as (most of!) the locals... Good luck with it. Al. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jules Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Sounds like your misses is like mine with two degrees and loads of A levels and GCSE's and stuff the complete opposite of me, I just scraped though college and uni. Your not to far from My sister in-law have you thought about going and giving surfing a try She moved down to Bodmin a few years ago and has met loads of new friends down and around Newquay through the surfing and her work. The toty is fantastic eye candy. she is with a friend of mine from racing now and he is in the same boat as he now lives with her but has none of his mates from Marlboro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dollythelw Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 I've done martial arts for 15 years, and I joined a club here Al. Andy said you were into marital aids? was that a spelling mistake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Astro_Al Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 No, not really... In fact my absolute favourite is martial arts with marital aids. Oooooh yes.... Is it me or did it suddenly get very hot in here? Al. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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