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Les Henson

tits, Yesterday, 10:06 PM

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Group: Chairman

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You got t*t's in your avatar, you can't put t*ts on the forum, t*ts are not an acceptable thing to put on what is actually a t*t free forum, remove the t*ts please you t*t!

Les. mad.gif

Dear Forum,

It is with sincere regret that I feel the need to apologise for my disgusting behaviour in posting what can only be described as "t*ts"

I apologise unreservably if any offence has been caused by these t*ts.

I have removed the offending tits with immediate effect and will be monitoring the behaviour of them very closly from now on.

Fondest, squidy, soft, plump, warm, lovable regards,

A Tit

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Talking of Tits, whens Tit-Monday???

(unashamedly stolen from another forum)

That glorious day when, heading into work on the bus, or walking to the tube, or sitting on the train, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.

After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.

Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...

And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit Monday.

Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise, when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year. It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April.

And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside All Bar One after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.

So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There will be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.

As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.

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I'm sure you are about to get moderated but I thought that was brilliant :lol:

I hope you're not encouraging bad behaviour Stephen. And you a moderator :angry:

I just mailed it to my father and a couple of mates, so I guess it would be a bit hypocritical to mod it :lol:

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Talking of Tits, whens Tit-Monday???

(unashamedly stolen from another forum)

As the poet said: one bold Northern slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.

That was totally brilliant, far too good to moderate, & as we head into winter out here, it reminds me of why I hate winter so much & look forward to the spring & its got sod all to do with Daffodils :lol:

Steve.

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whats with men and T*TS???? I dont get it ;)

as one of the few women who use this forum did you consider my feelings when you started this thread?

would you be offended if i was to start a thread about "door furnishings"

and inflated pigs bladders"

Now if you will excuse me i have the box set of Timmy Lea's confessions to watch.

I do so enjoy films with a religous content!

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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as one of the few women who use this forum did you consider my feelings when you started this thread?

would you be offended if i was to start a thread about "door furnishings"

and inflated pigs bladders"

No and no :)

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Talking of Tits, whens Tit-Monday

In France, there's a national holiday held in honour of it, with the girls on the beach taking their shirts, bikini tops, etcetera off in celebration, occasionally involving a 'topless sunbathe-athon' when they don't put their shirts on again until their skin has changed colour. Imagine that!

There is a mild involuntary tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.

Have you ever tried hiding that 'mild involuntary tumescence' on a crowded beach? :huh:

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