CwazyWabbit Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 I think we all have a great deal to learn from your journey Jason, thank you for sharing it with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbs Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 Good luck with your new lease of life John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troll Hunter Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Wonderful news, Jason. Well done. We should all learn from your battles, and celebrate the little victories in life. These are what help us to win the war and tame the black dog. Mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Yesterday I arrived home from dropping my son off at school and was elevated below is the post I wrote on Facebook, today has been Mrs S's Birthday I was able to go shopping bake her a birthday cake make a roast dinner for her birthday tea, moe the lawn and do some washing and ironing and cleaned the house. I am astounded how much I can fit into a day but I guess when I get up at 04:00 and go to sleep at 23:30 there is a lot of day to pack things into. I am however feeling on top of the world, the best I have ever felt I am coming down off the meds but my mood continues to lift and my sleep increases daily, I am now on what they call a flight to recovery where everything just works together. I know there will still be bad days but. I am looking forward to my return to work and living life to the full. Jason. For the first time in my life I am at peace with myself I never understood what peace was not silence but peace. This morning I walked Jacob to school we talked and had fun on the way to school something I have never done before, I always saw it a a chore not chance to spend time with my son. We laughed told each other jokes and even when he fell over it was no big deal. In the past I would have been so occupied with my life on the phone or sending emails I would not have even noticed the journey. When we got to school we were a little early so we decided to play football. It started with Jacob and I for the first time just having fun together, then some of his friends joined in and I became the honorary year one goal keeper although I am not sure how that worked as everyone was taking shots!! Jacob asked if I would come back at playtime and I felt so disappointed explaining to him that I didn't think that would be allowed. Filled with joy I have never really experienced before I headed home, walking mindfully I took time to listen to the birds enjoy the flowers and the trees notice things that I have always passed but never seen and be at peace with myself powered by the fun and time I had just spent with Jacob. For the first time in my life I played with Jacob, sure I have spent lots of time with him but mainly doing adult things, not connecting with him on his level doing something that he wanted to do, and I have to tell you it was one of the best 1/2 hours I have ever had in my life. I am in such a good place I have found the thing That was missing filled the space inside, the space that has caused so much destruction trying to fill with other things throughout the past six or so years of my illness and that space has begun to fill with fun and peace, inner peace, not thinking about anything just enjoying the spring morning and everything that the countryside had to offer. Jason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hybrid_From_Hell Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 And when you feel a tad low and weary think of the above chap Enjoy Life - its not a test drive, its the only chance you get, as a mate said to me long time ago when I was well down Its true We are all a long time dead Hope to hear your not only on this road.......... but that its moved to a dual carridgeway Nige Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jbs Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Jason, I'm really pleased you enjoyed time with your son today, Lets hope everyday you will be feeling like that. John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
western Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 reads as really good progress Jason, I bet your lad loved having his dad take him to school & have a kick about with his school chums, always nice to walk & take some time to see what's around the local area. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 I have had a few PM's asking about my health so I thought I would update everyone. My recovery is going really well I am now off all of my nighttime medication and sleeping well, I still feel great and very positive about things. Mrs S went to her sisters for the half term for a well earned break, as the last few months have really taken their toll on her, so I have had chance to reconnect with the children at their level and its been great. We have had a really good time, We went to London on Wednesday and I handled all forms of transport and the crowds without any issues, not bad for a guy that couldn't go into a supermarket a month ago! The kids have been great and my Newley found zest for life sees me waking around 04:30 which gives me time to get the household chores done before they get up and we have fun. We have planted a vegetable garden and a load of seeds. Yesterday afternoon we went horse riding, which the kids again enjoyed. This afternoons activity is baking so cheesecake and cookies are on the menu. So things are very positive I start to reduce my daytime medication today and am looking forward to returning to work. Jason Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GBMUD Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Very glad to hear it too Jason! Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverik Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andy2986 Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Good to hear your doing well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CwazyWabbit Posted May 31, 2013 Share Posted May 31, 2013 Great to see your progress Jason Best wishes for your ongoing recovery Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Well today was another big milestone, I officially went back to work, well I didn't go back but I came off my sick note(s) and back into employment. My boss came to visit me and I was allowed back onto company email. Despite my out of office being on for four months there are 1016 emails sitting in my in box! I am waiting for the O/T to let me come back to work fully but we are putting a plan into place and I already have a meeting in my diary for next week, it will be a slow and steady recovery but I am getting there one day at a time. Jason Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Idris Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Keep on the slow and steady I'd like 4 days a week, but a year and a half on I am still on 3 days a week and not pushing my mental luck! And doing my first winch challenge for 2 years in a few days. Scary stuff. Don't expect to last all day As long as we have a good time it'll be good to get out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie69 Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 Great progress Jason, seems like whatever you and your OT(and I guess your family) are doing is working really well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crclifford Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Glad to hear all is going well. Best wishes on a steady and speedy recovery. P.S. as you know 'select all and delete' does wonders for an inbox! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forkrentfitter Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Jason take it nice and steady,there is always tomorrow and another day after that,if the emails go back 4 months another few days won,t hurt. I admire your courage and honesty you have a massive inner strength and I wish you well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
studmuffin Posted June 5, 2013 Share Posted June 5, 2013 Yesterday I arrived home from dropping my son off at school and was elevated below is the post I wrote on Facebook, today has been Mrs S's Birthday I was able to go shopping bake her a birthday cake make a roast dinner for her birthday tea, moe the lawn and do some washing and ironing and cleaned the house. I am astounded how much I can fit into a day but I guess when I get up at 04:00 and go to sleep at 23:30 there is a lot of day to pack things into. I am however feeling on top of the world, the best I have ever felt I am coming down off the meds but my mood continues to lift and my sleep increases daily, I am now on what they call a flight to recovery where everything just works together. I know there will still be bad days but. I am looking forward to my return to work and living life to the full.Jason. For the first time in my life I am at peace with myself I never understood what peace was not silence but peace. This morning I walked Jacob to school we talked and had fun on the way to school something I have never done before, I always saw it a a chore not chance to spend time with my son. We laughed told each other jokes and even when he fell over it was no big deal. In the past I would have been so occupied with my life on the phone or sending emails I would not have even noticed the journey. When we got to school we were a little early so we decided to play football. It started with Jacob and I for the first time just having fun together, then some of his friends joined in and I became the honorary year one goal keeper although I am not sure how that worked as everyone was taking shots!! Jacob asked if I would come back at playtime and I felt so disappointed explaining to him that I didn't think that would be allowed. Filled with joy I have never really experienced before I headed home, walking mindfully I took time to listen to the birds enjoy the flowers and the trees notice things that I have always passed but never seen and be at peace with myself powered by the fun and time I had just spent with Jacob. For the first time in my life I played with Jacob, sure I have spent lots of time with him but mainly doing adult things, not connecting with him on his level doing something that he wanted to do, and I have to tell you it was one of the best 1/2 hours I have ever had in my life. I am in such a good place I have found the thing That was missing filled the space inside, the space that has caused so much destruction trying to fill with other things throughout the past six or so years of my illness and that space has begun to fill with fun and peace, inner peace, not thinking about anything just enjoying the spring morning and everything that the countryside had to offer. Jason. Jason - like most of us I have a fairly stressful job but I am lucky enough to have time to sometimes sit quietly in the woods local to my house and after 20-30 mins the wildlife ignores you and goes back to normal, and you get to take pleasure in life going on around you. Bliss - There is nothing better mate. glad everything is going well. Take it easy and enjoy the little things buddy. Barry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 6, 2013 Share Posted June 6, 2013 Thanks guys, I work for Vodafone and they have an excellent well being program run by Nuffield health, my return to wok will be gradual and phased over weeks or even months depending on how I feel and how things go. I am normally client facing and travel internationally, but for the first eight weeks at least I will be working on internal projects only and having Wednesdays off! Working mornings only for the first couple and then seeing how it goes. So I am happy that all of the professionals have my best interest at heart, the only current 'fly in the ointment' is I am prevented from driving by the DVLA, which is a pain epically given where I live, I saw my physicalist yesterday and he is going to write to them letting them know that it his his view I am now fit to drive, although he did say that they are a law unto themselves and that this does not need they will allow me to! Jason Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 6, 2013 Share Posted July 6, 2013 It has been a month since I last update things so here goes: First of all thanks for all of the PM's of support I really appreciate them. So for the update, There are some bits of good news first: I guess the big one is that I am driving again, the DVLA were talking about taking three months to make a decision, this was a constant source of frustration as where I live is not best served by public transport, and just getting to Newbury a Journey of less that 40 mins in the car door to door was taking me over two hours each way. After playing the nice game with them and getting nowhere I called them up and asked how I made a formal complaint, they would send me the forms, but hey presto two days later a letter arrived telling me I was allowed to drive again!! I have also returned to work full time for now, things are going well and I am really enjoying being productive again. I guess now for the bad stuff: After I had finished my treatment Mrs S told me the last years, and especially the last few months had been to much of a strain and that she needed some time to herself, understanding of this I moved out and into a friends house in the village to give her some time. Two weeks ago she told me that she could see no future with me and that she wanted a Divorce. So I am now going through the process of dividing up my life and making arrangements to tidy the last 20 years of my life away, she has filed for divorce and we expect things will go through in the next few weeks. On Friday I with 120 others was put 'at risk' at work, our group is merging with another group and the new group will have 90 posts to fill but 120 people to fill them so 30 of us will be going. Over the next few weeks we need to reapply for our jobs have interviews and wait, by September I shall know if I still have a job or need to find something else. However despite all of the above I am still feeling mentally very well, I can't pretend that it has been easy and I am deviated by Mrs S's decision to divorce, but at the end of the day can't do anything about it so am just having to get on with life the best I can. As my CPN has told me, I am coping well with the everything above and that bodes well for both my recovery and my ability to cope with life moving forward. Jason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Team Idris Posted July 7, 2013 Share Posted July 7, 2013 Sounds like one of them nexus point things, that drop in between an old life and a new one? Maybe the combination of things that made you ill before need to change? I thought I was getting laid off in February, but now I'm not. It's too well paid to jack, but I can't help thinking its not helping my mental health. So there's an element of thought, that getting laid off would have been better for me Or, maybe, I'm well wrong on that one? Either way, I try to be up-beat about it and play on the benefits Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muddychris300tdi Posted September 12, 2013 Share Posted September 12, 2013 Hi Jason, hope your well and things are going ok. Our thoughts are with you, Chris and family. On a side note i'm glad the nights are drawing in as i get to use my LED lights, they still amaze me how good they are. Thanks again for all the hard work you put in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Thanks Chris, I am very happy with mine. I forgot this thread was here, things are going very well below is. Post I made on face book three weeks ago: Up early this morning, that in its self is not an unusual fact and certainly not worthy of posting on here. The thing that is worth a mention is the fact that six months ago to the day, and after many years of an exhausting fight, I found the strength to admit that I needed help. I had reached a point where I no longer had the energy to fight, no longer had the will to continue. The last six months could certainly be classed as interesting!! I have been to the gates of hell, I didn't like what I found and and am now well on my journey back. I have found out who my true friends are, and to those of you on here reading this I thank you for all the support that has helped me reach this place. As for what the next six months has in store for me? Who knows? I am hoping it will be a little less eventful and am very optimistic about the future. I have started to live my life again, non of the anger that consumed me has returned and I am still at peace with myself. So I guess the saying is true, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger' Thanks again, Jason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bowie69 Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Great to hear from you Jason, and that things are continuing to look up, sounds like you have a good support network surrounding you as well, lucky guy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smallfry Posted September 13, 2013 Share Posted September 13, 2013 Not seen this thread before................fairly new here. Jason, I went through the secure unit scenario three times with my poor mother. I know all too well of peoples reaction to this, the crass and stupid things they say, and how you find out who your friends are........................ A fair bit of family history of it too, and I know myself that I have leanings. Sorry too, to read of your wifes decision, again I know all too well how tough this is for our nearest and dearest. Hang in there and keep busy, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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